WAR XXXV - Knight Rider

So this weekend marks my least favorite of all holidays. The dreaded 'Fall Back'. I think we should officially change from Daylight Savings Time to Daylight Wasting Time. It sucks.


But, hey...we can bitch and moan about it (and we will) or like a Norwegian Death Metal Band, we can embrace the darkness. So, bust out your headlamps, handlebar lights and change out the batteries in your blinky, because this week we ride in the night.




And as a shout out to the original Knight Rider, let's get drunk and eat cheeseburgers, too.



This week's ride will feature the darkest bars in Austin. The Cloak Room, The Hole in the Wall and Nasty's. But them together and you MIGHT have one window. Embrace the darkness.


Meet: Five Guys Burgers at 6:15pm (32nd and Guadalupe). Ride will depart promptly at 7pm.


Bring: Lots of lights and a friend.

THE MAP

WAR XXXIV - South Austin

As I am travelling on business this week (Damn you gainful employment!!), this week's WAR will be ghost-written and led by WAR-Veteran Dr. Crowder. Crowder became a doctor because no creative-writing classes were required. Here is the ride:

WAR XXXIV: South Austin

In its history the WAR has made only an occasional stop south of town. This week's ride will take a tour of South Austin visiting some of 78704's finest establishments.

Meet: Threadgill's World Headquarters (301 W. Riverside). Ride leaves at 7:15. Show up early (6ish) if you want to get your eat and/or drink on before the ride.

Route: Not set yet but expect to visit some of the following 04 Lounge, Broken Spoke, Trophy's, Blacksheep Lounge, Horsheshoe Lounge, Ego's (where we will end).

We ride rain or shine. Hope to see you there.

WAR XXXIII - Biketoberfest

It's that time of year, kids. Lace up your liderhosen, hide your Schnitzel and come out for a bike ride.

This week we will celebrate the great German tradition of drinking copious amounts of beer. Why? Because beer is good, dammit.

Before any of you get snappy, yes Octoberfest is technically over. It's the 16 days leading up to the first Sunday in October. But as US Americans, we have a hard time reconciling that with with the actual inclusion of the word 'October'. Plus, you can say it's over....but was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell No!


The ride - Wednesday - 10/7

Meet: Flying Saucer - 815 W 47th St (The Triangle)

Time: Brats at the 6:15p Depart 7:15p (feed yourself or eat with the family at the Flying Saucer before the ride)

Destinations: Flying Saucer, Scholtz Beer Garten, Draught House

Bring: Bike lights, friends

Attire: German casual. Liderhosen if you got 'em. Women are encouraged to look like the above picture.

Be prepared for a barrage of German Music and stop starting at my wienerschnitzel.


THE MAP

WAR XXXII - The Real ACL

WAR32 - Wed, 9/23 - 6:30pm

Okay, so just like you I spent a ridiculous amount of money for a wristband that gives me the privilege of standing in the hot Texas sun for three days, in a park I ride by daily with a shitload of people that I don't know. If that were not enough, I get to stand in line and pay double the amount for food I eat everyday. And just for an added kick in the junk - Lone Star is waaay more than $2 a can.

Oh, alright... There are a few bands I want to see. I'll even admit that I am pretty goddamn excited to see the B-52s. I'm know I'm showing my age, but I want me a taste of that sweet Rock Lobster.

But all this did get me thinking. That sure is a lot of jack to go see a few bands. Don't we live in 'The Live Music Capital of the World'? Isn't the REAL ACL every fucking night in Austin? Yeah. It is. I'll prove it - join me on a bike ride and we will drink cheap Lone Stars and see some damn fine music. For free. No wristband required.

We are going to mix it up a bit on this ride and meet for a cocktail at Little Woodrow's on Guadalupe (note on Guadalupe) at 6:30. No Dinner. Ride leaves at 7:00. Then we will mosey down and catch The Belleville Outfit at Scholtz's Beer Garten. Should be time to eat a little BBQ here if you are hungry. Then we will cruise on over to the Mean Eyed Cat to see Opie Hendrix. We will end up at the Hole in the Wall to catch whoever is playing there.

Bring a light, a lock and leave that goddamn wristband at home.

THE MAP

It is about time we saluted the Blue Collar worker. Yeah, you work in an office, but you know, you wish you had your name on your shirt. Your khaki pants suck. Your shirt has buttons....all the way down. With sleeves. Sleeves. Pathetic.

Seriously. That College Degree? That Graduate Degree? Can you actually DO anything? Can you plumb? Can you wire a socket without electrocuting yourself? Yeah...you have no real skills. So let's pay tribute to those who have actual marketable skills - the blue collar workers.

PBR should not be the cool 'retro' beer. Hell No! It's the beer of hard working Americans. It ain't drunk in a tight-pants-wearing-Hipster-Bar. It always has been and always will be the beer of hard working blue collar Blue-Blood US Americans. You have no skills. Let's salute those who do.

Meet for the true American Meal - the Hot Dog. Franks (4th and Colorado) at 630. Ride leaves at 730. We will hit Deep Eddy's Cabaret, Doc's Motor Works and the Luster Pearle. Show up with a name on your shirt.

THE MAP

WAR XXX - Are you ready for some football?

Two things to celebrate this week. One, the WAR turns the big 3-0. Unfortunately, I can say I know how that feels. Even more unfortunately, I've still got a few on the WAR.

Next and more importantly, it is finally Football Season. Seriously, are the summers getting longer and with fewer sports worth watching? Football Season, I've missed you.

Big year for the boys in Burnt Orange. We have a lot to prove. #2 Ranking out of the gate. We're #1 - we'll prove it. Another #2 ranking for Colt as a Heisman contender. The only thing second place about Colt is the #2 he is going to take on Tim Tebow's face. 2 is also Tim's IQ - just ask Jesus.

So, the 2nd Annual WAR Football Kick Off is ON. Wear your Burnt Orange and welcome in the season.

Meet - Wed 8/26 - 6:15p at Posse East for some beer and burgers college style. Ride departs at 7:15pm - sharp! We will welcome in the season with a loop around DKR Memorial Stadium.

Then we will move over to Creekside owner Kasey's new venture - the Iron Gate. Kasey has promised a drink special for all WAR riders. Be careful of his 'specials'. I once did a shot of Crawfish Boil and Vodka with him. Just like last year, we are going to relive the 4th Quarter of the 2005 National Championship. Then we will mosey over to the legendary Scholz Beer Garten and finish up at The Crown & Anchor.

Bring a light, lock and a friend. Wear orange and get your Horns up. It's time to Hook 'Em.

THE MAP

The WAR is Famous

Well, I am not entirely sure quite how, but the WAR is now receiving national attention. I mean, if you want to count 'New York' as national. Personally, anything north of the Red River counts as another country in my book.

However, we did get written up in New York Magazine.

Seriously - New York Magazine.

I wasn't expecting press and certainly not from an actual respected publication. I mean maybe Beer Guzzlers Quarterly, Guns & Ammo or Juggs - but New York Magazine?

So here is the official invitation. If any of you New York yanks want to come ride and drink beer with us, we'd love to have you.

Hell, just to show our Texas hospitality - first one is on me.