Thursday, December 11, 2008

WAR XIII - The Great White North

The WAR Ride makes it's 13th appearance this week in the great white north.

Put on your tooks,  grab your mounties and head up north of town this week!  It is time to visit our cousins to the north, eh?  This week we will officially surrender to the cold by honoring 'America's Attic' with a Northen Austin tour.

Oh...Canada.  You have the biggest case of penis envy ever.  You are just so cute travelling abroad with your maple flag backpacks and your Palin-inspired drawl.'ve given us the good (Neil Young, Cowboy Junkies) the bad (Bryan Adams, Celine Dion) and the ugly (Cory Hart and Cory Haim - both Corys? really Canada??)  But, Canada, you have really enjoyed the past eight years, haven't you?  Looking down your nose when we made international fools of ourselves...loving it when us USAmericans claimed to be from Toronto when travelling abroad.  But, Canada...oh, Canada...your Prime Minister just dismantled Parliament when impeachment was threatened.  Oh's aboot time you feel our pain.  We salute you, eh?

From an actual web-site debunking 'Top 10 Myths about (aboot) Canada':
#1 (Yes...NUMBER ONE)  -  Myth: We live in igloos. Reality: We live in houses, and they are very well built houses.
Oh Canada....that is awesome!

We will hit a few of Austin's finer Roadhouse establishments, including Lala's (where it's always Christmas), the Poodle Dog (where it's always toothless), Ginny's and Billy's.  Hell, just call it the Canadian Roadhouse Tour (no Swayze isn't Candadian, but Cory Hart was in Roadhouse 2).

Meet: Billy's   2105 Hancock Dr  (Burnet and Hancock)
Time: Meet for dinner at 6pm, ride starts at 7pm
Bring: Lights, locks, warmth, and a friend

Jingle Bell Ride

Pull up your stockings and grab your Ho's, because we are joining this year's annual Jingle Bell ride.

For one night, the Trail of Tears...errr...Lights is open to cyclists.  So, skip the parking hassle and crowds this year and join us.

The ride starts at 6pm at the baseball fields at Zilker (back entrance to Bartron Springs).  Meet up early at Uncle Billy's BBQ on Barton Springs road for Happy Hour - 5pm.  The Jingle Bell Ride has a long and short version.  The official WAR ride will be, of course, doing the long ride (about 8 miles).  This is a great ride to bring the family and kids on as well.  There should be several hundred riders - lots of little ones.

The ride hits the Trail of Lights, followed by a Hot Chocolate and Cookie stop at the Mopac Bridge.  Santa's little elves will ride back via the hike and bike, while the Reindeer will take a tour of Austin Neighborhoods that have been lit up like a Damn Christmas Tree.

Sadly, whoever planned the route forgot to include beer stops.   So, this ride is B.Y.O.H.C (Bring Your Own Holiday Cheer).  Nog it up, dude!  I'll be towing the tunes box with my collection of obnoxious christmas songs (who wants a Hippopotamus for Xmas?).