WAR XXXIX - Goodbye 2009

Well, that about wraps it up for 2009. Any year without a Bush administration is a pretty good year in my book. Plus, by my count, we had 26 WAR rides, meaning we didn't miss a ride. So congradulations to all of you for saving the enviornment and supporting you local brewerys.

For the last ride of 2009, let's hit a few favorite spots. Meet at the flying saucer at 6. Ride leaves at 7. I'm not sure where we will go but I would suspect the draughtt house nastys crown billys woodys or the dog and duck could make their way into the rotation.

Bring a light lock and a friend

WAR XXXVIII - Xmas

Let's see....parking lots are crowded, the fucking Chipmunks are back, you are out of money and it's cold outside. Yep. It's that time of year again. Merry Freakin Christmas.

The only way to effectively combat the Holiday 'Cheer' is to get out on your damn bike. So we're going to do it Texas Style.

We will hit some of the finer beer joints and honky tonks in town, and make our own of trail of blinky lights.

Meet: Shoal Creek Saloon -- 6pm if you want dinner. Ride leaves at 7pm sharp.

We will hit Shoal Creek, catch WAR favorite Damon Bramblett at the Mean Eyed Cat, a have cold one at Woody's and end up back at Shoal Creek.

Bundle up. Bring your lights and your holiday cheer. Santa suits encouraged.

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Christmas Presents!

Local WAR Rider/Blacksmith/Artist Wendy has generously offered to help all of you last minute Christmas shoppers by bringing her latest creation:

BAD ASS BIKE BELT BUCKLES

Wendy has designed and created these awesome belt buckles, which allow you to to feature the two things you love best (bikes and beer) right above your junk.

Yep. Her genius and beautiful creations feature bike chains, cogs and gears and often feature a handy beer opener as well. So, bring some cash with you. She charges a very reasonable $45 for these hand crafted creations. Buy them for your family and friends and wrap up your Christmas shopping while sipping a cold one.

Check out some of the sweet creations below.

WAR XXXVII - Wahoo

This one was unposted as I was out of the country. Crowder let it, so I'm sure it involved Wahoo's Fish Tacos in some fashion. The WAR never ends!

WAR XXXVI - Winter??

Looks like the first cool front of the year descended today. But, looking at the weather on Wednesday, it could be warm or cold. That is Texas weather for you. If you don't like it...just wait...it'll change.

Each of the establishments on the week's WAR can be enjoyed both in and out of doors. So, we are covered. Make sure to bring your lights. It's dark and a lot of the teenagers will be lining up to see the new Twilight movie. Keep away from those vampires!

The Ride - Wed, 11/18

- Dinner: Shoal Creek Saloon: 6pm ish

- Depart Shoal Creek Saloon, 7:15pm - sharp!

- Planned stops: Shoal Creek Saloon, Uncle Billy's Brew's & BBQ, Mean Eyed Cat

Also, work (damn you gainful employment) has summoned me to New York City this week, so we are in need of a leader. UPDATE - WAR regulars Charlton and Eric will be leading this ride. Thanks, fellas.

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WAR XXXV - Knight Rider

So this weekend marks my least favorite of all holidays. The dreaded 'Fall Back'. I think we should officially change from Daylight Savings Time to Daylight Wasting Time. It sucks.


But, hey...we can bitch and moan about it (and we will) or like a Norwegian Death Metal Band, we can embrace the darkness. So, bust out your headlamps, handlebar lights and change out the batteries in your blinky, because this week we ride in the night.




And as a shout out to the original Knight Rider, let's get drunk and eat cheeseburgers, too.



This week's ride will feature the darkest bars in Austin. The Cloak Room, The Hole in the Wall and Nasty's. But them together and you MIGHT have one window. Embrace the darkness.


Meet: Five Guys Burgers at 6:15pm (32nd and Guadalupe). Ride will depart promptly at 7pm.


Bring: Lots of lights and a friend.

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WAR XXXIV - South Austin

As I am travelling on business this week (Damn you gainful employment!!), this week's WAR will be ghost-written and led by WAR-Veteran Dr. Crowder. Crowder became a doctor because no creative-writing classes were required. Here is the ride:

WAR XXXIV: South Austin

In its history the WAR has made only an occasional stop south of town. This week's ride will take a tour of South Austin visiting some of 78704's finest establishments.

Meet: Threadgill's World Headquarters (301 W. Riverside). Ride leaves at 7:15. Show up early (6ish) if you want to get your eat and/or drink on before the ride.

Route: Not set yet but expect to visit some of the following 04 Lounge, Broken Spoke, Trophy's, Blacksheep Lounge, Horsheshoe Lounge, Ego's (where we will end).

We ride rain or shine. Hope to see you there.

WAR XXXIII - Biketoberfest

It's that time of year, kids. Lace up your liderhosen, hide your Schnitzel and come out for a bike ride.

This week we will celebrate the great German tradition of drinking copious amounts of beer. Why? Because beer is good, dammit.

Before any of you get snappy, yes Octoberfest is technically over. It's the 16 days leading up to the first Sunday in October. But as US Americans, we have a hard time reconciling that with with the actual inclusion of the word 'October'. Plus, you can say it's over....but was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell No!


The ride - Wednesday - 10/7

Meet: Flying Saucer - 815 W 47th St (The Triangle)

Time: Brats at the 6:15p Depart 7:15p (feed yourself or eat with the family at the Flying Saucer before the ride)

Destinations: Flying Saucer, Scholtz Beer Garten, Draught House

Bring: Bike lights, friends

Attire: German casual. Liderhosen if you got 'em. Women are encouraged to look like the above picture.

Be prepared for a barrage of German Music and stop starting at my wienerschnitzel.


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WAR XXXII - The Real ACL

WAR32 - Wed, 9/23 - 6:30pm

Okay, so just like you I spent a ridiculous amount of money for a wristband that gives me the privilege of standing in the hot Texas sun for three days, in a park I ride by daily with a shitload of people that I don't know. If that were not enough, I get to stand in line and pay double the amount for food I eat everyday. And just for an added kick in the junk - Lone Star is waaay more than $2 a can.

Oh, alright... There are a few bands I want to see. I'll even admit that I am pretty goddamn excited to see the B-52s. I'm know I'm showing my age, but I want me a taste of that sweet Rock Lobster.

But all this did get me thinking. That sure is a lot of jack to go see a few bands. Don't we live in 'The Live Music Capital of the World'? Isn't the REAL ACL every fucking night in Austin? Yeah. It is. I'll prove it - join me on a bike ride and we will drink cheap Lone Stars and see some damn fine music. For free. No wristband required.

We are going to mix it up a bit on this ride and meet for a cocktail at Little Woodrow's on Guadalupe (note on Guadalupe) at 6:30. No Dinner. Ride leaves at 7:00. Then we will mosey down and catch The Belleville Outfit at Scholtz's Beer Garten. Should be time to eat a little BBQ here if you are hungry. Then we will cruise on over to the Mean Eyed Cat to see Opie Hendrix. We will end up at the Hole in the Wall to catch whoever is playing there.

Bring a light, a lock and leave that goddamn wristband at home.

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It is about time we saluted the Blue Collar worker. Yeah, you work in an office, but you know, you wish you had your name on your shirt. Your khaki pants suck. Your shirt has buttons....all the way down. With sleeves. Sleeves. Pathetic.

Seriously. That College Degree? That Graduate Degree? Can you actually DO anything? Can you plumb? Can you wire a socket without electrocuting yourself? Yeah...you have no real skills. So let's pay tribute to those who have actual marketable skills - the blue collar workers.

PBR should not be the cool 'retro' beer. Hell No! It's the beer of hard working Americans. It ain't drunk in a tight-pants-wearing-Hipster-Bar. It always has been and always will be the beer of hard working blue collar Blue-Blood US Americans. You have no skills. Let's salute those who do.

Meet for the true American Meal - the Hot Dog. Franks (4th and Colorado) at 630. Ride leaves at 730. We will hit Deep Eddy's Cabaret, Doc's Motor Works and the Luster Pearle. Show up with a name on your shirt.

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WAR XXX - Are you ready for some football?

Two things to celebrate this week. One, the WAR turns the big 3-0. Unfortunately, I can say I know how that feels. Even more unfortunately, I've still got a few on the WAR.

Next and more importantly, it is finally Football Season. Seriously, are the summers getting longer and with fewer sports worth watching? Football Season, I've missed you.

Big year for the boys in Burnt Orange. We have a lot to prove. #2 Ranking out of the gate. We're #1 - we'll prove it. Another #2 ranking for Colt as a Heisman contender. The only thing second place about Colt is the #2 he is going to take on Tim Tebow's face. 2 is also Tim's IQ - just ask Jesus.

So, the 2nd Annual WAR Football Kick Off is ON. Wear your Burnt Orange and welcome in the season.

Meet - Wed 8/26 - 6:15p at Posse East for some beer and burgers college style. Ride departs at 7:15pm - sharp! We will welcome in the season with a loop around DKR Memorial Stadium.

Then we will move over to Creekside owner Kasey's new venture - the Iron Gate. Kasey has promised a drink special for all WAR riders. Be careful of his 'specials'. I once did a shot of Crawfish Boil and Vodka with him. Just like last year, we are going to relive the 4th Quarter of the 2005 National Championship. Then we will mosey over to the legendary Scholz Beer Garten and finish up at The Crown & Anchor.

Bring a light, lock and a friend. Wear orange and get your Horns up. It's time to Hook 'Em.

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The WAR is Famous

Well, I am not entirely sure quite how, but the WAR is now receiving national attention. I mean, if you want to count 'New York' as national. Personally, anything north of the Red River counts as another country in my book.

However, we did get written up in New York Magazine.

Seriously - New York Magazine.

I wasn't expecting press and certainly not from an actual respected publication. I mean maybe Beer Guzzlers Quarterly, Guns & Ammo or Juggs - but New York Magazine?

So here is the official invitation. If any of you New York yanks want to come ride and drink beer with us, we'd love to have you.

Hell, just to show our Texas hospitality - first one is on me.

WAR XXIX - Two Words

Okay, WAR 29. That is a lot of planning. While this might not be my most creative idea to date, it is an idea.

Most of our recent rides have been in or around downtown, so we are going to move up to Central Austin this ride. And, the theme of the ride is....drumroll....two words. Yep, everywhere we are going is named with no more, or fewer than two words. Now before you start with me, smart ass, 'the' is not a word, it's an article. Saying 'the' is a word is like saying Texas A&M is an accredited university. While it might exist in a similar plane, it ain't the real thing.

So, let's meet at Santa Rita (see? two words) for some Mexican grub at 6pm. 1206 W 38th St.

We ride at 7pm sharp!

We will hit Spider House, Flying Saucer and Draught House.

Bring lights, a lock and a friend. Don't forget to wear your brain bucket.

...oh, if you don't like the idea, let me know. I have two very special words for you....

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WAR XXVIII - Ghost Town

Just a few more weeks before your daily commute turns sour. Yep, although UT football returns soon, so do the students, school and traffic.

40,000 co-eds are about to descend on Austin like so many hipsters during SWSX. They'll stand in line ahead of you and steal that last cold Lone Star. They'll crowd the doorway of the bars insisting that it is their ID and it just got run through the washer like nine times.

Yep, let's face it - the cheap watering holes are only ours for a few more weeks. So, let's take advantage of the current 'College Bar Ghost Town' and find the cheap brews while we can.

Meet at Posse East (2900 Duval) at 6pm or so for a burger and a cold one. Ride will depart at 7:15 sharp. We'll hit The Library ($1 beer night!), Cuatro's and end up next door to where we started, at the Crown & Anchor. If you don't know where the C&A is, you probably did not know me in the late 90's.

Bring a bike, lock, lights, helmet and a friend.

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WAR = Copyright Infringement?

Okay - last week WAR really hit the big time. You won't believe it, but I actually got a letter informing me that the Wednesday Urban Assault Ride was infringing on a copyright.

So, cut back on those Wednesday night beers, because we are starting a fund to hire Johnnie Cochran. "If the bike don't fit, you must acquit!"

Here is the letter I received:

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How’s it going? I was just checking out your site. Thanks a lot for promoting our event and coming out to participate!

I need to ask you a favor. For 7 years and over 30 events we’ve produced the Urban Assault Ride and established a name for the event. We trademarked the name and have worked hard to create an understanding of our concept.

I see that you’re running a site called the “Wednesday Urban Assault Ride”. As much as I really like what you’re doing, I have to ask you to not call it the Urban Assault Ride. Not only could it be confusing to potential UAR riders, but there’s also the potential for bigger issues. If a rider were to get hurt or worse on one of your rides and it was publicized, the public would see that there was an accident on an Urban Assault Ride in Austin. You can imagine how this could effect our event, sponsorship. Insurance, etc.

I have no problem with you call your ride the WAR – Wednesday Assault Ride, but the Wednesday Urban Assault Ride is just too close.

I hope you understand and that you’ll make the necessary changes to correct the issue.

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So, our ride is now officially just the Wednesday Assault Ride. But, we keep our fancy acronym, WAR.

I'm poking a bit of fun at the letter we received, but understand the point. Plus, what is the point of fighting someone who support bikes and beer anyway? Although we do have a lawyer that regularly attends the ride, he usually ends up drunk at the end like the rest of us, and probably couldn't provide that much assistance.

But, that said, consider the towable music box with ground effects patented!

WAR XXVII - Tour De France

If you have not been watching the Tour de France this year, you have really missed out. We are one week into the three week event and it's been riveting.

Austin's favorite rider (aside from me), Lance Armstrong is back after a 4 year retirement to attempt to reclaim the crown.

It's a tall order, because, (and I know most of you will hate to hear this) at 37, Lance is OLD.

But, Lance is made out of approximately 54% awesome and 46% goddamn! He is seconds off the lead and is looking like he has the form to take home his EIGHTH yellow jersey. So, let's salute the Tour and raise a glass to our boy, Lance this week.

Pretend you are French and meet at Le Cafe Crepe (2nd and San Jac) at 6:30pm. Ride leaves at 7:15. We will have a photo op at the Eiffel Tower then hit Little Woodrow's North for a cold one. We will continue our international journey and hit the Dog & Duck and end up at Lance's own bar - Six Lounge.

Bring lights ,a lock and a friend. And for Pete's sake, wear a helmet....Lance does.

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Weekend Event - Cutters!

Mellow Johnny's continues the Tour celebration with a Sunday evening screening of the classic American cycling film, Breaking Away. Put on your Cutters T-shirt and pedal on over.

There are some cool pre-film activities planned. Also, it's free.

There will be bikes and beer as well.

Check out the details here. Don't piss Dennis Quaid off...be there.

Cool Tour de France Kickoff

We're sending a Texas boy back to France this year to take back to Tour. Lance begins his journey through the Alps to show the cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys what a Texan on a bike can do.

The Alamo Draft House and Mellow Johnny's are having a cool kick off event on Sunday. Here are a few of my favorite parts:

1) It's free 2) There will be bikes 3) There will be beer

I mean, what else do you need. Ride down and let's meet up and cheer Lance on in Stage One.

Here are the details: http://www.originalalamo.com/show.aspx?id=6562

WAR Takes Down the Urban Assault Ride

The 2009 New Belgium Urban Assault Ride was owned by the WAR. Yeah, we placed in every division. Not bad, considering there were over 1,300 riders, making this the largest bike race in Texas. Next year...Le Tour!

First Place Co-Ed: George & Wendy

Third Place Men: Mat (me) & Tom

Third Place Women: Tresea & Kim

WAR Riders...yeah, we really are that badass.

WAR XXVI - One Year's Old!

Well, holy shit...it's been a year of WAR. We've logged about 300 miles on our bicycles visiting some of Austin's finer (and not so fine) bars. That means we have collectively logged over 2500 miles on the WAR. We saved the environment from some serious CO2 and most importantly helped out in quelling Austin's growing beer population. You should feel proud of yourselves.

...And what better reward than more of the same? Treat yourself to a cold one on Wednesday, 7/1. The theme to this week will be "The Best of WAR." If you plan on coming (and you should), email me your favorite place the ride has been, along with three songs you'd like to hear. I'll tally the votes and take it from there.

If you have not been on a WAR, shame on you - you are missing out. If you've found yourself saying, "well, there is always next year"....yeah...it's here, so get your fat-ass off the couch and on your bike.

To be continued......

Okay - the votes are in! The overwhealming favorite was Mean Eyed Cat, followed by a new location - The Shangri'la. Thed for third place was 'air conditioning' and 'swimming'. So, we will make it happen.

Meet at Wahoos for dinner 5th&Rio Grande. Dinner at 6:15. We roll at 7pm.

First we will hit a new spot - Abel's on the Lake (by Hula Hut) for a cold one and a dip in Lake Austin - so bring you swimmin' suit. Next we will hit the Mean Eyed Cat, followed by the Shangri'la, we will end up where we started at Dirty Bill's.

I'll load up the jukebox, you bring a lock and a light.

See you there! The Map

WAR - XXV - Gay Bars

As a salute to the recent Gay Pride week and the recent influx of latent homosexuals in chaps (ROT Rally), we are going to salute the gay bars of Austin.

Plus, Crowder has been asking for this theme for a while.

So, put on your assless chaps, practice your Y.M.C.A and join us on this ride.

We will meet at Iron Works BBQ at 6:15 for some of Austin's best 'Q. (Red River & 1st)

Then, in the imortal words of Freddy Mercury you will 'get on your bikes and ride'. Wheels down promptly at 7pm. We will start off at the Rainbow Cattle Company then move on to Charlie's. After a requisite tour of the Capitol, we will hit Oilcan Harry's. Finally, we will end up right by our starting spot at Chain Drive (don't feed the bears).

Bring a light, lock and a friend. See you there.

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WAR - The Other Urban Assualt Ride

It's here....the other Urban Assault Ride. Our good friends at New Belgium Brewery, who have the same passions as we do - bikes and beers - are hosting the glorious Urban Assault Race on 6/28 here in Austin.

This is a must attend event. I've done it for two years now and it is a blast. Part adventure race, part scavenger hunt, all silliness with free beer at the end.

Team up with another WAR rider to take on this challenge. It's a hell of a lot of fun. Expect to ride a big wheel, just like when you were 4 years old and way more badass than you are now. You might also ride a clown bike, joust and swim. The only thing I can assure you is you will have a great time and end up with a nice Sunday afternoon buzz.

Register here. http://www.urbanassaultride.com/ Wear good costumes. Wear sunscreen. Tell them I sent you (free swag for referrals) - mat.thompson33@gmail.com

Ride on! Mat.

WAR XXIV - Bachleor Party!

Well, against all odds and many wagers, I'm getting married.  I leave Thursday morning for OKC to get hitched on Saturday.  And if I've done my math correctly, that leaves me one more ride as a single man.

So, come out Wednesday for a ride - bachelor party style.  We will visit some of my favorite places in Austin.  I know this ride is a bit self-serving, but if you don't like it, plan your own damn ride.

Every day as a Senior at the great University of Texas, I would walk home from class and have a jalapeno cheeseburger and a Shiner Bock at the Crown & Anchor.  Only cost me $5.  It's a little more expensive these days, but the beer is still cold and the fries are still hot.  So, let's meet at Crown at 6:15pm for a beer and a cold one.

We will then take a tour around campus for old times sake and then visit the Flying Saucer for a craft beer.

Then we are on to Billy's to lounge on the deck and finally to my favorite bar - The Draught Horse.  I know, technically now it is the House, but I'm nostalgic.

See you on Wednesday.  Bring lights, a lock and a friend.  Next time you see me, I'll be wearing a ring (provided Christina shows).

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WAR XXIII - Top Gun

So, I was drinking beer with a few WAR Veterans, thinking about how great it is outside right now.  Not hot, not cold, just perfect.  So, planning the WAR ride (which is, by the way, redundant), I'm thinking outdoor locations.

Then, for some strange reason, it hits me.  We need to pay tribute to a great childhood memory and military recruiting agent, Top Gun.  This is movie gold, Pre-Scientology Tom Cruise, and Kenny Loggins at his best.

What?  You say what it is the relevance?  Well, let's see......  first, Top Gun was released May 13, 1986, making this the 23th Anniversary.  Second, Kelly McGillis, who is quite possibility responsible for my first boner just came out as a lesbian.....just my luck.  Seriously - check it out - http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20275794,00.html

Finally - Kenny Loggins and homoerotic scenes with 'seaman' playing volleyball...how better to welcome in summer.

So......unless 'You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin", meet at Uncle Billy's BBQ on Barton Springs Road at 6pm for dinner.  Ride starts at 7pm.  Next we will visit Aussie's, for some mandatory beach volleyball.  You don't have to take your shirt off, but you do have to give a five both high and low like the Iceman.  Singing 'Playin With the Boys' is optional as well.

Next, it's time to buzz a tower - we'll hit the Tinest Bar in Texas.  Yee Haw...Jester's Dead.

Finally, we will finish at BS Saloon, where we will  sing 'Great Balls of Fire' to mourn anyone we might lose in a flat spin.

Oh - for this ride only - you can't go by your own name - pick a call sign.  Be creative - Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Jester, Wolfman, Hollywood, Slider and Charlie are not allowed.

Bring light, lock and cash.  And, NEVER EVER leave your wingman.

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WAR XXII - Cinco de Mayo

Ok, so technically, it is Seis de Mayo, but close enough, right?  

Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexico's unlikely defeat of the French in 1862.  I think the Mexicans are onto something here....If we make every defeat of the French a holiday, we'll never work again!

So, it is time to celebrate Cinco de Mayo WAR style.  Put on your sombrero, shove a lime in your beer and hop on your bike, because we are goin' East Side, esse.

We will meet for dinner at El Chile - 1809 Manor - at 6:15pm.  El Chile has, in my opinion (which is always right), some of the best mexican food in town.  They also have great Micheladas.  Ride starts promptly at 7pm.  We will visit Rio Grande downtown, take a tour of the East Side, visit Fiesta Gardens, thumb our noses at the French Legation Museum and have a cold one at the Long Branch Saloon.  We will end up next door to where we started on the porch of the Red House.

Bring lights, a helmet, a lock and some friends.  See you there.

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Real Ale Ride - May 30th

I love bikes and I love beer.  If my wife is reading this, I love her too.  

What I love most of all is bikes and beer together (hence the WAR).  What I love more than most of all is good beer and bikes together.  So, a number of us WAR verterans are going out to ride the Real Ale Ride in Blanco, TX on 5/30.

The Real Ale Brewery is making some of the best beer in the country right now in my opinion.  You should listen to my opinion, because I'm always right.  However, the little brewery down the road is more than just great beer; they are very supportative of cycling and also adhere firmly to green standards.  So let's support these fine folks and also suck down a few of their fine beverages.  

The ride is totally supported, you can pick lengths of 15-80 miles and afterwards - the three "B's" - Beer, BBQ and Brewery Tours!

Register at http://www.realaleride.com/ 

Post a comment below if you plan on heading out and we'll be on the lookout for you.  

WAR XXI - Happy 21st Bithday!

Well, mathematically, it was bound to happen.  The Wednesday urban Assault Ride is officially old enough to drink.  I don't know if you remember your 21st Birthday, but I do remember a portion of mine.

Let's see, being 21, of course we went to 6th street and visited a bunch of bars which don't exist anymore.  If you remember The Black Cat, Joe's Generic Bar, Steamboat, Tropical Isle or the Daiquiri Factory you might have been there.  You know, all of those bars are gone now.  In fact, hell, I think all of the bars on 6th have changed.  I don't even know where the kids puke anymore.  Anyway, my night culminated by being thrown out of one of those fine establishments when a friend of mine attempted to head butt a towel dispenser.  (He lost and has still has the scar to prove it.)

So, this week, let's attempt to recreate our 21st birthdays.  I mean, really how long has it been since you tasted the sweet sweet nectar that is a Flaming Dr. Pepper?  This re-creation is like visiting the Gettysburg battlegrounds - you know SOMETHING happened there, but all the evidence is long gone.

Well, let's give it a shot.  Meet for a nice college meal at Plucker's - 22nd and Rio Grande at 6:15.  Ride will depart at 7:00pm.  Then we will visit the last remaining 'legacy' bar on 6th Street - Shakespeare’s.  From there we'll visit the 'north legacy' - Nasty's.  Finally, we will hang out with the frat boys at Cain & Ables.

 

See you there.  Party on, Wayne.

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WAR XX - Spring has Sprung

Last WAR, we had a few brave souls brave the rain and hail to make it out and grab a beer.  Well, at least we got soaked on the inside as well.

The trees are blooming, the grass is green, and the kids are back from break...it must be spring.  The weather is predicted to be perfect, so lets have a ride through a few Austin Parks and grab a beer at some establishments with outdoor seating.

Meet at Trudys (Texas Star - 409 W 30th)  at 6:15pm for dinner.  Ride will start promptly at 7:15.  We will visit Shoal Creek Saloon and Cuatros, ending up at the Spider House, next door to our starting location.

Wear a helmet, bring a spare tube, a bike lock, lights and a friend.

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WAR - XIX - Exodus of the Hipster

I hope everyone got out to enjoy the great weather and catch a few SXSW shows this weekend.  A lot of us discovered new and interesting places to drink free beer all weekend.  I think I injured my liver.

The Hipsters were out in full force last week, and nearly took over the town.  Fortunately, I heard a truck load of PBR bound for Austin overturned in Waco and left many without their 'ironic substanance'.  They were left to depart for higher grounds....mainly Williamsburg, I think.

So, put away your trucker's hat and throwback sunglasses until next year and let's celebrate a few spots than weren't SXSW venues, but make Austin the place that us locals enjoy year round.

Pretty unique to Austin - let's meet up for dinner and a beer at a cool patio location...of a grocery store.  Meet at Central Market (38th and Lamar) at 6:30 - 3/25.  You can grab some delicious food and a cold one.  We willl depart at 7pm.

We'll check out the Crown, pay Mr. Potatohead a visit and finish up and a bar that strives to be a parking lot - the Draught House.

Bring your helmet, lock and friends.  Hipsters forbidden!

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WAR XVIII - Put a little Irish in ya'

WAR XVIII is scheduled for MONDAY, 3/16.  So, we are close enough to St. Patrick's Day to officially saulte the Irish.

Although St. Paddy's Day is a great holiday, it's kinda weird when you think about it.  It is the only holiday I can think of that celebrates by sterotype.  We celebrate Irish heritage by wearing green and getting loaded.  Weirder still - the Irish embrace it.

Hey, if they don't mind, neither do I.  Let's honor the Lepurchans with an Irish Pub Crawl.  We'll hit Austin's finer 'really , it's NOT Bennigan's' style pubs.  Expect to visit BD Reileys, Bull McCabes, Fado and Mother Egans.

If you want some Irish eats before the ride, meet at Fado (214 W. 4th) at 6:15p.  Ride starts promptly at 7:00p.  Wear green.  Ladies, feel free to show your shamrocks and kiss me - I'm Irish.

I'll buy a beer for the first person to down an Irish Car Bomb.

WAR XVII - Texas Independance Day

WAR XVII is upon us, as is my favorite National Holiday: Texas Independence Day.

On March 2 each year, we celebrate our state's independence; the signing of the declaration, the drawing of the line in the sand.  We remember San Jacinto. We remember the Alamo.  But most of all, we celebrate our Texas Pride.

We're the biggest state in the union.  No, Alaska doesn't count - if you melted the ice, we'd be bigger.  As Texans we're proud of everything in our state - our food, our beer, our football, our size, our flag, our music.  But, mostly we proud of our pride.  And we're proud of that pride too!

The Capitol is the only state capitol building taller than the U.S. Capitol.  We're the only state that can legally fly our flag at the same height as the US Flag.  That, my friend, is pride.

So, let's be proud, and proud of our pride and visit a few classic "Texas Bars".  What better way to start out than eating a bowl of the State Food of Texas - Chili.  We'll then make our way around the city, visiting Scholtz's Beer Garten and Donn's Depot as well as a few Texas landmarks.

Meet at TCP (Texas Chili Parlor - 14th & Lavaca) at 6:30pm, this Wednesday - 2/25 for dinner.  Ride will begin at 7:15 sharp, so be there early if you want a bowl of red.

Bring lights, lock, helmet and friends.  Drinking at least one Lone Star will be mandatory.  Oh, and Don't Mess With Texas.

The Map

WAR XVI - You're a Dick

WAR XVI is scheduled for Wednesday, Feb 11.  On this day in 2006, our (ex) Vice President shot an 80 year old dude in the face.  With a shotgun.  In the face.

The hell of it is, that was about the kindest thing he did all year!  Mr. Cheney, you really are quite a Dick.  Now that the bastard is gone, let's salute his face-shooting with a bike ride.  I'm sure Dick would approve of us stopping for a beer or two.  He's had two DWIs.

So, since I couldn't find a bar called 'Evil's' or 'Darth Vader's Lounge', I've composed the ride around three words which adaquately describe the face-shooter.  Dirty, Nasty and Mean.

So the ride will visit Dirty Bill's, The Mean Eyed Cat and Nasty's.  If you want some food beforehand, let's meet at El Arroyo (1624 W. 5th St.) at 6pm.  We will be riding at 7pm.  Ride ends at the Mean Eyed Cat, so you can park in the general area.  The weather is supposed to clear up nicely tomorrow with temps in the 70s.  Bring a front and back light and a friend.  Just don't shoot them.

Oh, Wedneday is also Sarah Palin's birthday.  Weird, huh?

THE MAP

WAR XV - Animals

This week's WAR ride will be a salute, or shout-out, as the kids say these days to our furry friends.  No, not me, it's NOT back hair - it's extremely upper chest hair.  I'm talking our LITTLE furry friends - the animals.

I love animals, they are delicious.  So, this week, let's eat a few and wash them down with a cold beer.  It is chilly, so wear something made of your favorite animal (in this weather my fave is goose).

Our ride will feature three animal themed bars.

Meet at Spider House (2908 Fruth St) at 6:30 for a dinner.  We will head out at 7:15.

Next is the Dog & Duck, followed by the Hole in the Wall. (you know, where the rats and mice live...work with me)

Dress warm...bring a friend.  And wear your animal print undies!  

WAR XIV - Changes

2009.  New Year.  New President.  New Resolutions.  Lots of changes.  So rather than slipping back into the normalcy of fearing change, we are going to embrace it.

As the man said, "Turn and face the strange."  He also told me take my protein pills and put my helmet on, but that is a different ride.

Ch..ch..ch..changes!

We'll start the ride at Drungo's Ice House at 29th and Guadalupe.  If you have lived in Austin or went to school here, you know this place as HangTown, Pongo's, etc. etc. etc.  I think this restaurant changes ownership monthly.  Meet there at 6:30 if you want food and/or snacks.  Ride starts promptly at 7:15.

 I can't trace time....Cedar Door.  This bar has moved three times.  Not the concept, the whole BAR, man.  You might remember it by the power plant, or if you are really old where the convention center is currently.  If you had a beer at the original location on 15th street, bring your Metamucil tabs.

Turn and face the strange....the Gingerman is leaving.  Those fucking condos again.  They took Waterloo Brewing next door and now they are taking the Gingerman.  It's not all bad news the G-Man found a new location close by.   They will be moving very soon, so this could be your last chance to grab a $7 beer at the original location.

Time may change me....Little Woodrow's is the next stop.  And no, you HAVEN'T been there, jackass.  Remember the Showdown?  No? - Remember throwing up in that bar on the drag?  Yeah, THAT was the Showdown.  Sadly, it is no longer there.  However, Little Woodrows is - forever to be known as 'the other Little Woodrows'.  As an added benefit, you can still puke there.

Ride is short, under 10 miles.  Bring a front and rear light and a lock.  It should warm up tomorrow, but don't get cold - dress for the weather.

Change - Yes we can!

See you there, bring a friend.

THE MAP