Wednesday Assault Ride - Austin

WAR LXXXII - Football!

2011-08-30T18:09:00.002-05:00

Are you ready for some football?

Football season kicks off this weekend and I am glad because frankly, I couldn't wait any longer.

It is time for the Annual Football Tribute Bike Ride.

We will meet at everyone's favorite pre-game headquarters - The Crown & Anchor at 6pm for burgers and beer.

Then we begin to lap DKR Stadium in anticipation of the season. Hook 'em Horns.

We will also hit Scholtz Beer Garten (of course) and any other Football friendly establishment we can think of.

Meet - 8/31 - Crown & Anchor 6pm Ride leaves at 7pm (sharp)

Get your Horns Up.

...and watch this as well...

War LXXXI - Dog Days of Summer

2011-08-17T15:08:00.002-05:00

Mid-Aug...

It's like the Wednesday of the summer. We are over the hump, cooler weather approaches. Soon. Be patient. Soon.

Let's meet tonight at a few nice summer hang outs where you will be able to choose A/C vs. Texas Heat.

Meet: 6pm - Crown & Anchor
Ride leaves at 7pm (Sharp!)
We will visit Crown, BlackStar and Nasty's.

Be there!

On a side note...be sure to plan to make next week's ride as well. It is time for the annual FOOTBALL RIDE!

WAR LXXX - Family Reunion

2011-07-18T09:53:00.002-05:00

Attendance to the WAR has been well, spotty at best. I know, I know - this is the pot calling the kettle black.

WAR 80. Eighty. That is three years of the WAR. Rain or shine, cold or f'ing hot.

But, you haven't been in a while. What, do you have a better group of bike riding/beer drinking friends? Are you too good for the WAR?

So, here we are at WAR 80. Let's celebrate by making this a Family Reunion. Attendance is required. Be there.

We will meet at Little Woodrow's - 6th and Nueces. Meet at 6pm for beers. We leave by 6:45 in order to get a nice ride in before we hit Blues on the Green. Big show this week with Dale Watson and Guy Forsyth. If you are hungry, there are some local food vendors at the show.

Then we will hit another mystery stop after the show.

MEET: Wed, 7/20 - 6pm - Little Woody's on 6th.

Attendance is mandatory - don't make me come after you.

Bring - lights locks and friends.

WAR LXXIX - Ragin Cajun

2011-07-06T09:33:00.002-05:00

Hoo Wee, Boy. It is hot out there, I gar-ron-tee.

Beat the heat tonight with a few cold beers and a dip in some cold water somewhere.

Plus, one of my favorites, Marcia Ball plays Blues on the Green tonight. She will have her red beans cooking, and she keeps her fingernails long so they click when she plays the piano.

Get yer belly full of creole at the Shoal Creek Saloon. Meet at 6pm, ride at 7pm.

WAR LXXVIII - Rain dance

2011-06-22T05:49:00.002-05:00

So I am up pretty early because my daughter is having tubes put in her ears. So, I'm getting the ride out now.

Some decention in the crowd. Some want to got to blues on the green to see suzanna chofell and the bright light social hour. Others just want to ride around and drink beer.

So, let's just meet in the middle and decide.

Meet: the local. Formally little woodys, formally the showdown. On guad.

Meet today at 6pm. Ride leaves at 7pm. Sharp. Bring it.

WAR LXXVII - Bob on the Green

2011-06-06T21:46:00.002-05:00

WAR 77 folks. We will pay tribute to Austin's own Bob Schneider who opens this season's Blues on the Green. Bob was the first live show I ever saw in Austin - Joe Rockhead - Student Union Ballroom - 1993. After that I remember slamming leftover beers at Scholtz's at a Lounge Lizards show...and thousands of live shows later, we meet again, Mr. Schneider.

Meet at Woody's on 6th at 6pm. Ride leaves promptly at 7pm so we can get a good ride in before we hit BOTG at Zilker. There will be a stop for refreshments to bring to the big show.

See you there, Tarantulas.

WAR LXXVI - Ode to the master (haha)

2011-05-31T19:23:00.005-05:00

The original bike dude. He was friends with hard cores, like Chairy.

He drank tequila.

He danced on bars.

He rode bikes.

He....is one of us.

Let's pay tribute to the man, the myth, the Pee Wee.

Meet at The Pour House at 6:00pm. Ride leaves at 7pm and we will go all the way to Top Notch, for burgers and Pee Wee. It is BYOB, so, we'll have to make a pit stop.

Be there...and don't reveal the secret word.

WAR LXXV - East meets West

2011-05-17T20:41:00.003-05:00

<-- The Taj Mahal

This weeks WAR will be a cultural blending of East and West. The focus will be a full tour of Lady Bird Lake before the flesh eating bats return from Mexico and fight for airspace with the tourists.

MEET: 5/18 - Wed - Garage Mahal
6pm if you want to eat, 7pm if you want to ride.
If you never eaten Indian food at the Garage, I suggest you do. It is awesome.

From there we will spin around the lake in search of beer.

Bring a light, lock and friends.

WAR LXXIV - Choose your own advernture!

2011-05-04T09:14:00.005-05:00

So, it turns out that The Fearless Leader and The Little General will be in southwest Texas tonight on a fishing trip. But, Uncle Charlton (everyone's favorite "touchy" Uncle) has volunteered to lead the WAR. The ride must go on.

So, I leave it to you, gentle rider. Where will you ride tonight? Where will you drink? So many decisions. It is up to you...choose your own adventure.

If you want to go to Shoal Creek turn to page 72
If you want to go to The Crown & Anchor turn to page 61

Decisions, decisions......

Planning is ride isn't easy is it?

Here, I'll help out.

Meet at Uncle Billy's Brew n Que on Barton Springs.
Get there at 6pm, have some dinner, and join in the Brewery Tour (which features free beer at the end).
Ride leaves at 7pm on the dot.

Bring a light, lock and your decision making helmet.

MEET: 5/4 - Uncle Billy's 6pm Dinner, 7pm Depart.

WAR LXXIII - Easter Egg

2011-04-19T08:33:00.004-05:00

<--Having a beer with my peeps.

Well, this weekend is Easter, where we honor the resurrection of our savior by gorging on chocolate and hiding eggs. Also, I like to microwave peeps.

I also like to drink beer. And ride bikes.

So, in honor of Easter, I've created a non-secular ride this week.

We will start off at Cuatro's. Because four of the disciples spoke Spanish. I don't know. They have good tacos and cold beer. Work with me peeps. (Or you get the microwave)

Next, we will we head to Abel's, partly because his brother killed him, and partly because they have a decent beer selection.

Finally, we will resurrect poor, dead Abel, when we head to Cain & Abel's to enjoy a happier time of brotherly love. You know...before the stabbing. (Although, he DID tell him not to touch his fucking Legos)

Meet: Wed, 4/20 6pm Cuatro's (24th+San Gabriel) Ride departs at 7pm (SHARP!)

The peeps on the street are saying that the fearless leader might actually show this week.

WAR LXXII - The Deuce

2011-04-06T11:50:00.003-05:00

In honor of WAR's 72nd ride, we are going to salute the number 2. The two. The deuce. Dos. 1+1.

So, meet at Hut's Hamburgers at 6pm where it is 2 for 1 burger night. For those of your doing math, that means burgers are half price if you show with a friend, or a good deal if you are really hungry.

Ride departs at 7pm sharp. Bring a friend, or two.

War LXXI - BikeXSW

2011-03-22T17:05:00.004-05:00

Whew. That was close. I swear the Hipsters almost won this time. Almost. The Williamsburg invasion threatened to take over our fair city. But in the end, they took their Toms shoes and went home quietly.

...and I did see some epic Hipsters. I saw a guy in old school Adidas sneakers, throwback sunglasses and full fucking leiderhosen. That, my friends, is a fashion statement. I think the statement is "I sure hope my trust fund doesn't run out"...but still...it's a statement.

I saw a guy in purple skinny jeans, Toms ballet style shoes, throwback sunglasses, plaid shirt....and just to paint a caricature of himself, he was carrying a giant sack of granola from Whole Foods. Seriously. PBR in one hand, sack of granola in the other.

So, this week, we are going to rock SXSW on our bikes. Meaning we will hit South Austin AND Southwest Austin.

Meet:Wed, 3/23, 6pm Wahoos Tacos SOUTH. Note - Wahoo's on 1722 SOUTH Congress.

We leave at 7pm (Sharp!) and head Southwest. Abel's, Doc's and the Crown will be visited. Yes, we will head North as well, but if we only head Southwest the circle we ride will become MUCH longer.

Bring lights locks and a friend. Oh...and bring your own sack of granola.

WAR XLXX - Austin Brews!

2011-03-07T10:49:00.006-06:00

Fun Fact: By the end of the year, Austin has the potential to have over a dozen independent breweries on line. See if I can name twelve off the top of my head: Real Ale, Independence, Thirsty Planet, Circle, Jester King, Live Oak, Twisted X, Hop & Grain, 512, South Austin Brewing...okay, I hit ten.

We are on pace to be a serious challenger to Portland as a true "Beer City". If Austin is ever dubbed the "Live Music and Beer Capital of the World", we may have to officially change the town's name to "Heaven".

The WAR turns another round number this week - 70. Wow. 70 WAR rides. We're almost as old as Willie.

So, let's celebrate Austin beer by touring local on-site brew-pubs. I've devised a route that includes all of them...well except for the excellent NXNW, which would require a daring highway cross.

We will hit: Uncle Billy's, Lovejoy's, Black Star and the Draught Horse. Note: you will be required to drink only beer from the local brew house. Must be made on site.

As a bonus: rumor has in Uncle Billy's hosts brewery tours on Wednesday. The tours start at 6pm, so show up early.

3/9 - Wednesday - Meet at Uncle Billy's on Barton Springs. As always, ride departs at 7pm sharp. REALLY - we leave at 7 this time. Bring lights, locks and friends. Special note: this ride's start/stop location will not be in close proximity. All you drivers may want to consider a halfway parking location: THE MAP

WAR XLIX - East Siiiide

2011-02-22T11:36:00.002-06:00

You asked for it. An East Side Ride. This ride will be captained by the official WAR attorney and bail-poster, Dave Timberger. Dave will take us on a tour of the other side of the tracks. Hippies, Hipsters, Gangsters...oh my!

Meet at Paco's Tacos. 1304 E. 51st Street at 6pm. As always, the ride departs at 7. Sharp. Well, sharpish. Okay, whenever you finish your next beer.

We will hit: The Nomad, The Red House and The Liberty.

Bring: lights, locks and friends.

WAR XLVIII - Bridges

2011-02-09T13:16:00.003-06:00

Over the river and through the woods. This week's WAR centers around Bridges. Not the Todd variety. That is not what I'm talkin' bout, Willis.

Rumor has it the Lamar Ped bridge extension has (un)officially opened. So, let's celebrate with a few adult beverages.

Meet: Uncle Billy's BBQ 6pm
Ride leaves: 7pm

We will visit: Uncle Billys (Lamar Bridge) Mean Eyed Cat (Mopac Bridge) Dirty Bill's (Shoal Creek Bridge) and Ego's (Congress Bridge)

See you there.

WAR XLVII - You Cheap Bastard

2011-01-26T12:29:00.004-06:00

So, January rolls around. Your mail piles up with bills for Christmas. Your W2 arrives. There is your property tax. Income tax. It's all due.

So, for all of you penny pinching misers out there who just realized the gravity of your financial situation, we will have a cheap skate ride. If you actually WEAR skates on the ride, you get extra points. Which are, sadly only redeemable toward items contained within the cupholder of my car.

Hungry. Want to eat free without the embarrassment of standing in a soup kitchen line? Let's meet at 6pm at Jax (29+Guad). Free pizza with the purchase of beer. The more you drink, the more you eat. So, you know. Two birds.

White Trash Wednesday at the Library, so you'll fit in drinking your $1 PBR.

..and $2 domestics at Kung Fu Saloon till 9.

If you like FREE BEER. There are a few of us headed out to the grand opening of Jester King Brewery this Saturday at 1pm. http://jesterkingbrewery.com/ Call or text me if you wanna go and/or car pool.

Meet at 6 for dinner. Ride leaves at 7.

WAR sixtysomething

2011-01-12T12:14:00.002-06:00

Hear about the storms in NYC? Guess where I am.

Charlton and Brian will warm your hearts by leading a ride focused on staying warm. All destinations will feature fireplaces. Meet at jackalope 6pm.

WAR XLV - Family Tradition

2010-12-29T12:08:00.003-06:00

Spending time with the family for the holidays?

Have you forgotten about your extended-extended family?

Yes, the ones with the mullets. With the 'Palin 2012' bumper-stickers. The family no one really speaks of. Yeah, it is time to hang with that family.

So, let's meet up with your Uncle Billy, your old Aunt Ginny and that creepy Uncle Nasty. Yeah, the one with the panel van.

Let's meet at Uncle Billy's on Barton Springs for dinner and beers. Since no one is really working, let's try to make this ride somewhat punctual.

Meet at 6pm for dinner. Ride leaves at 7. For reals.

We will hit Ginny's Little Longhorn and Nasty's, most likely.

WAR XLIV - XXXMas

2010-12-13T17:17:00.002-06:00

Crowded parking lots. Packed flights. Tensions building. Stress level elevated. Annoying music everywhere.

Yep. It must be "the most wonderful time of the year."

Yes. I'm a Grinch. A mean one. A humbug of epic proportions.

I'm the guy that wonders why that dude that stole Christmas returned it.

You know what I want for Christmas? December 26.

Well, if we are going to have merriment forced upon us, at least we can ride bikes. Let's meet this week at Dirty Martin's (about 29th and Guad). Ride starts at 7. PROMPT.

We will consume merriment at a few choice locations. I'll even throw in a Christmas light tour. And, I promise, I won't bring my setlist of the most annoying Christmas music ever. (except I will)

...and yes...I'm actually going to show this time.

WAR XLIII - The Middle

2010-12-01T13:20:00.002-06:00

So, I've been debating with myself. Wait that sounds gross.

I've been arguing with myself about the ride tonight. North or South? South or North. Finally I said, "Hey, Self let's meet in the Middle. Also, you are very handsome."

So, if you call Anderson Lane the border of the North and Barton Springs Drive the Southern boarder, that would make Crown & Anchor the geographic center of the universe. Plus they have good burgers.

Let's meet there at 6pm. We roll at 7pm (sharp) We can hit places in the middle like Nasty's, whatever they call the Showdown now, and Dog & Duck. Or where ever you want to go...I'm done arguing.

WAR XLII - Up Shit Creek.

2010-11-16T19:20:00.003-06:00

You've been there...looking for your paddle. The Creek - you're all up in that shit.

This week's WAR will honor Austin's Creeks - Shit or otherwise. Barton, Shoal, Johnson (haha, I said Johnson) or Waller. We got's us a mess of Creeks, and there are often bars near them. Bonus.

Meet at Austin's premiere Creek Establishment - Shoal Creek Saloon - 6pm for a giant pork chop dinner - ride leaves at 7pm.

Daylight wasting time is upon us and the darkness brings vampires. Bring your blinky to fend them off. Garlic too. ...and don't forget your paddle.

War LXI - Uncle!

2010-11-02T19:17:00.000-05:00

It is that time of year. Uncle's Day. Ok, it doesn't yet exist, but it should.

Meet Uncle Billy's Brew and Q. You know the time.

Dress like either Uncle Jesse (Dukes or Full House version)

WAR 60 - Spooky!

2010-10-19T12:11:00.002-05:00

Well, the WAR is turning 60. Damn. Just like Crowder with a hangover, the WAR is beginning to look like the Crypt Keeper.

In honor of the upcoming pagan holiday, the WAR ride again this Wednesday. You can even ride headless if you want.

Meet: Wahoo's Fish Tacos - 6th and Rio Grande. 6pm if you want dinner.

As always, ride leaves at 7pm SHARP!

We will visit: Doc's Motor Works, The Scoot Inn and Dirty Bills.

Bring your lights, our available sunlight is dwindling.

THE MAP

WAR 59 - Oktoberfest

2010-10-05T10:42:00.005-05:00

<----- I like your beers.

Ah, fall. Football is in season, the heat has broken, and the leaves begin to lose the green luster of summer. Fall, the air becomes just crisp, and the critters race to store up goods for their long winter slumber. Ah, Fall...what a lovely time of year in Central Texas. We can continue to wax poetically, or take a note from the Germans, who turn the whole goddamn season into a beer festival!

It's Oktoberfest, Kiddos. Lace up your liderhosen, hide your Schnitzel and come out for a bike ride.

Before any of you get snappy, yes Oktoberfest is technically over. It's the 16 days leading up to the first Sunday in October. But as US Americans, we have a hard time reconciling that with with the actual inclusion of the word 'October'. Plus, you can say it's over....but was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell No!

Roll out the barrel, expect to Polka. The Scorpions WILL sing the Winds of Change. My epic German Music collection has been in hiding for two long years....lagering so to speak. It will make it's Epic return. Prost!

The ride - Wednesday - 10/6

Meet: Flying Saucer - 815 W 47th St (The Triangle)

Time: Brats at the 6:15p Depart 7:00p

Destinations: Flying Saucer, Scholtz Beer Garten, Draught House

Bring: Bike lights, friends

Attire: German casual. Liderhosen if you got 'em.

THE MAP

WAR 58 - Pixies!

2010-09-21T16:56:00.002-05:00

This Wednesday’s WAR Adventure will be sponsored by Pixies. No, not little people and fairy dust – I’m talking THE Pixies. (Although, Tinkerbell is HOT) You know, the Boston band led by Black Francis. I know a few WAR riders are planning on hitting the show – WAR staff will make every attempt to deliver you to Austin Music Hall on time and with a pleasant beer-buzz.

Meet – Wahoo’s Fish Tacos – 6^th and Rio Grande

Ride leaves at 7pm. Pixies, Frank Black and the Catholics and The Breeders will be in tow.

List of locations is secret. But, I can promise we will Head On a Wave of Mutilation like a Surfer, Rosa. Look out – Here Comes Your Man like a Gigantic Monkey Gone to Heaven. Hey Allison, let’s kick this Planet of Sound and turn up De Base(er).

God, I’m good.

WAR 57 - Charlton in Charge!

2010-09-07T22:15:00.003-05:00

So this week I am out of town, and the WAR's favorite son, Charlton is leading the ride. So, Charlton is in charge.

Charlton had this great idea of a "Watergate Ride" in honor of the Anniversary of Nixon's pardon.

You know, crossing the gates of Austin across our water to watering holes. I love it. Creative, historical - awesome.

However, I can't let the opportunity pass to put Charlton in Charge. And, point out that he actually does resemble Scott Baio circa 1987.

So, there you have it. Charlton is in Charge.

Of our days.
And our nights.

Meet: Mangia Pizza (Lake Austin Location)

Charlton is in Charge of our wrongs and our rights.

Meet at 6pm. Right leaves at 7pm SHARP!

And I sing, I want Charlton in Charge of me!

We will hit: Lustre Pearl, Deep Eddy and Uncle Billy's.

And I sing, I want Charlton in Charge of me!

Bring: Bike, beer money, a lock, and remember, Joanie loves Chachi.

(I have to admit, I plugged in the Charles in Charge lyrics from memory. I don't know whether to be proud or horribly embarrassed.)

WAR 56 - Are you Ready for some Football?

2010-08-24T10:41:00.003-05:00

I can feel it in the air tonight. Oh Lord.

It's here. Finally. The 100+ degree temperatures have ushered in Football Season. Hell yes.

I've waited for this moment for all of my life. Oh Lord.

UT opens up on 9/4 this year versus Rice, on their way to what appears to be the final Big 12 Championship game. Bring it.

Oh Lord.

OH LORD.

It is time for the annual Football Ride. We will salute some of Austin's finer sports bars. More importantly, we will salute the Horns by riding around the stadium blaring The Eyes of Texas - from our bicycles. Yeah. Feel it in the air. Are YOU ready for some football?

Meet: Crown & Anchor 9/25, 6pm. Ride leaves at 7pm Sharp!!!
Bring: It.
Wear: Orange.
Be: Loud.
Rock: The Casbah.

THE MAP

Please note: The included lyrics do not condone Phil Collin's watching of a guy drowning a guy.

WAR 55 - General Malaise

2010-08-10T20:02:00.004-05:00

It has been a few weeks since I actually attended my own ride. Just like General Patton, I Shall Return. And just like John Winger, Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual.

So, this weeks theme will be loosely based on our over arching them (or at least our moniker) -- WAR.
We will meet at Central Market. Why?? Because it actually sounds like a country you could invade in a really captivating game of Risk.

Then we will make it down to the Good Knight followed up by Headhunter's.

We will end up at the Draught Horse, because all good wars involved England and horses.

Meet: 8/11 - Wed - 6pm - Central Market
Ride leaves at 7pm - SHARP!

Bring: Bike, lock, and your favorite implement of destruction.

The MAP

WAR 54 - Work on it

2010-07-28T09:02:00.004-05:00

Ok, so the eternally changing location at 29th and Rio Grande has changed again. What was once HangTown/Pongos/Drungos/and more...is now Jax. So, we are going to start there. By my calculations, which are never wrong, the place has about 8 months to be in business.

Since Jax reminded me of the old Jax's beer, we are going to make this a working mans ride. You can go Merle Haggard working man, or Geddy Lee working man - I don't care.

We will sip coldies at: Jax, The Iron Gate and the Hole in the Wall.

Meet Jax, 7/28, 6pm ride leaves at 7pm
http://jaxjoint.com/

Bring: Lights, Locks and Fellow Workers. Workers Unite! (ie, not Cliff)

MAP

WAR 53 - North and South

2010-07-13T16:22:00.002-05:00

The WAR has gotten away from our roots a bit lately - the riding of the bicycles. Weather, rain, music and the fucking Police have been cutting our rides short. So, this week my friends, we ride.

Well...okay, we will drink beer too.

This week we are going on a North/South ride. We will cross Lady Bird Lake at least twice. This night, we ride.

So get your pedals turnin'
Head out on the highway
We are looking for adventure
Or what ever comes our way

Meet: 7/14 Wed - 6pm
Trudy's Texas Star (30th)

We will hit Gibson, a new bar down South. I've never been. Then Woody's, then back north to Nasty's.

Bring a light, lock, bail money and a friend.

Also, first person to correctly identify the bastardized song lyric above gets to buy me a beer.

THE MAP

WAR 52 - ???

2010-06-30T10:17:00.002-05:00

The weather is looking sketchy. Let's meet at Shoal Creek about 6pm and leave at 7pm. We will leave the route up to a group vote.

Meet: 6/30 - Shoal Creek Saloon

WAR 51 - Psychedelic Tex-Mex

2010-06-15T17:43:00.005-05:00

This weeks WAR Ride will be centered around Psychedelic Tex-Mex. That's a pretty specific topic, you say. We are basing a whole ride around THAT, you say. Well, to you I say, shut up and get your own damn ride.

Hell yes we can do a whole ride around Psychedelic Tex-Mex. It's Tornado Season - so get out of your 'fraidy-hole (that is actually what they call the shelters in Oklahoma) and come to Zilker to see the famed Texas Tornadoes.

Yep. Augie, Flaco and Sahm (Jr.) will be rocking Zilker with their LSD fueled Accordions. After that if you have not had your fill...there is MORE Psychedelic Tex-Mex to be had: La Tampiquena is playing Scholtz's.

Both shows are free. Both will be great.

Meet: 6/16 6pm - Pluckers - 22nd and Rio Grande. We will leave at 7pm (for real this time)
The Tornadoes go on at Zilker at 7:30pm. There is food available at Zilker, but, sadly no beer. We will leave when either we are tired of the show or the DTs begin to set in. Then we will hit Scholtz and end up at the Local (formerly Woodys formerly The Showdown)

Bring a light, a lock, a friend and wear your freshly pressed Guyabera.

THE MAP

WAR L - Pride

2010-06-01T18:03:00.009-05:00

A man's worth can't be measured by their money
I know rich men that can't stand on their own
What keeps a joe from lookin for a handout
Well, that's somethin he's born with in his bones
That's Pride; they can't take it; That's Pride
--- Dale Watson

50 Rides and the WAR keeps on going. I'm damn proud. Hell we have a lot to be proud of.

To quote the great Dale Watson again:
"I'm American, I'm a husband, and I'm a Daddy. I love real country music, I love Texas and I love my mama - and it's gonna be that way until my dying day, cause I got pride."

Most recently, I'm proud the WAR will continue even after "the man" tried to bring us down. You can beat us, you can ticket us, you can throw us in jail - but you can't take away our pride. Even though the State Troopers fucked us over, I'm still proud to be from Texas.

"By God we're so darn proud to be from Texas - yahoo!
Even of our pride we're proud and we're proud of that pride, too
Our pride about our home state is the proudest pride indeed
And we're proud to be Americans, until we can secede!"
--- The Austin Lounge Lizards

So, let's get together this week and show our pride. To boot, (as Crowder has informed me numerous times), it's Pride Week.

To celebrate:
PRIDE in our 50th ride: We will visit at the oldest bar in Austin - Scholtz - where, by the way, Dale Watson himself will be playing.

PRIDE that the WAR goes on...we are going to say "Hi" to a few State Troopers by riding peacefully through the Capitol - twice.

PRIDE our town has such damn good beer..The Gingerman

And of course, we'll pay tribute to PRIDE Week at Charlie's.

Meet - Wed, 6/2: 6pm - Texas Chili Parlor. Ride leaves at 7pm (for real this time)
Bring: A light, a lock, a friend and some bail money.
THE MAP

WAR XLIX - Up on the Roof

2010-05-17T15:41:00.003-05:00

As the days of Spring fade in a scorching heat, let’s take advantage of the chance to drink cold beer without the requirement of conditioned air. In fact, let’s mock the source of the summer heat by putting on our Icarus wings and flying closer to the heat source. That’s right, sun – we’re comin for you.

This week we will visit some of Austin’s higher establishments. No, Eeyore’s Birthday has already passed, I’m talking altitude.

This week we will visit a few fine Rooftop Bars. If you can’t get arrested for throwing stuff off of it, we ain’t drinkin there. We will even visit a bar actually CALLED “Rooftop Bar”. As I have never been there, I can confirm neither its support of a elevated drinking surface, nor its actual existence. Additional rooftops will include Molotov’s, Six Lounge and a secret location. However, the secret location will be changed in the event of a fire, in which case I say – burn motherfucker, burn.

Meet: Wed, 5/19, 6pm - Frank’s Hot Dogs & Beer – 4th& Colorado

Ride Leaves: 7pm SHARP!

Bring: Light, lock and a friend. Just as an FYI – we don’t need no water.

THE MAP

WAR XLVIII - Cinco de Mayo

2010-05-17T15:40:00.002-05:00

The WAR went deep East Side. Deep.

WAR XLVI - Spring Music

2010-04-19T21:58:00.003-05:00

There is actually some awesome music this Wednesday. For free. I ain't talkin' 'bout my magic bike trailer.

Let's start out with on of my favorite Austin bands - Skyrocket. Smooth a.m. hits of the 70s sung by a few of Austin's best musicians, including Trish Murphy, who I may or may not have a huge crush on. (Because Henna Chevrolet will stand by you).

Skyrocket goes on at 730 at Scholtz. Let's meet there for beer/food about 630ish. We will stay for the first set and then head over to see WAR favorite Damon Bramblett at the Mean Eyed Cat.

Spring temperatures, cold beer, 70/80s cover band, a honky-tonk hero - why WOULDN'T you come out and join the WAR?

Bring a light, a lock and your SPD compatible dancin' shoes.

Wed, 4/21 - Meet Scholtz 630p

WAR XLV - Check out my giant deck

2010-04-06T08:51:00.005-05:00

Well, spring has sprung. The cold damp of winter has finally passed, and most importantly we have reached daylight savings time. Spring - it's here. Ah, spring, in Austin. The flowers are blooming, there is some sort of festival every weekend and a young boys thoughts turn to his deck.

Yep, if the weather is good, you need a nice chunk of wood to sit on in the out of doors while you drink your frosties.

So, this week's ride will focus on a few of Austin's finer wooden decks.

MEET: 4/7 - 6pm Crown & Anchor for burgers
Ride leaves at 7pm SHARP!
We will hit: Able's, Little Woody's (campus)

Bring a light, lock, a friend and some tweezers for splinter pickin'

Rumor has it the fearless leader may return from exile! THE MAP

WAR - XLIV - Where?

2010-04-06T08:48:00.002-05:00

This ride was hosted by Eric Crowder. All I know is I didn't show up, but some of my homebrew went missing. At least the thieves got rained on.

WAR XLIII - Maggie

2010-03-09T14:30:00.004-06:00

The stork brought something to me this week that may prohibit me from leading tomorrow night's WAR. However, rain, shine, or baby, the WAR must go on.

Dr. Crowder will be leading the ride tonight.

Here is the ride itinerary in his own words. Creative Writing was apparently not a required class in Medical School.

Itinerary:

Meet at Uncle Billy's. 6:00p, leave 7:00p 3/10/10

Ride bikes.

Mean Eyed Cat for some honky tonkin' with Damon Bramblett.

Ride bikes.

Barton Springs Saloon.

WAR XLII - Great White North - 2/24

2010-02-23T20:06:00.004-06:00

Seriously? Snow. In Austin. In late February. Like you, I am sick and tired of being wet and cold. I know, I was just complaining about being hot and dry a few months ago. But, you know...freedom of speech and all.

There is only one way to confront these endless cold fronts. Act like Bill Paxton and drive right into the eye of the storm. I can't believe that I just made a reference to Twister. I'm so, so sorry.

Grab your coat and pedal north. That's right. This we week head NORTH. And by north I mean North-Central Austin.

We will start out at the Pour House - 6701 Burnet Road. Meet for dinner at 6, ride leaves at 7.

We will hit: The Pour House, Ginny's Little Longhorn, Billy's, Lala's and The Poodle Dog.

Bundle up and hope for spring.

THE MAP

WAR - XLII - President's Ride

2010-02-09T10:02:00.004-06:00

WAR XLII - 2/10 - 7pm

It’s that time of year again, kids. Time to celebrate that special holiday you never really look forward to. No, I’m not talking about the one where you get in trouble for making dinner reservations too late and pay triple the going price for roses. I’m talking President’s Day.

You don’t get the day off work, you don’t get presents and you are honoring some guy that, statistically speaking, 50% of the country hates. You know what this holiday needs? Beer.

Let’s honor our past presidents by hitting some of Austin oldest bars. We will hit Scholtz’s Beer Garten – which is not only our oldest bar, but the oldest business in Austin. (Well, except for THAT oldest profession.) We’ll visit the Cedar Door, which has operated continuously since 1975, although in many different locations – and they didn’t move the business – they moved the whole freakin’ bar. You will see the Cloak Room, which, I think might have been built the same year as the Capitol. Finally, we will end up at the Crown & Anchor, okay, it’s not that old, but it is that awesome.

I know it is supposed to be cold, but I have planned a short route. You’ll have a beer in your hand before your junk shrivels up.

MEET: Torchy’s Tacos (yum) – 28th and Guad – 6:15pm. Ride leaves at 7pm SHARP!
Bring a light, lock, space heater-trailer and a friend.

The Map

WAR XXXXI - Pac Man Fever

2010-01-26T16:22:00.004-06:00

Now that Swine Flu seems to have officially passed us by, it is time to discuss an illness that has plagued me since I was old enough to hold a quarter.

Pac-Man Fever.

Seriously, when you think of your childhood, the old stand up video games were really a part of our lives. Yet, so many lifetime goals go unfulfilled.

What WAS at the end of Zaxxon?
How many quarters DID it take to beat Dragon's Lair?
How many levels were there in Guantlet?
Did ANYONE beat the high jump in Track and Field?
What the fuck WAS Q-Bert?
How do you get away from the bees in 720?

It took a hell of a lot of quarters, but friends, I'm telling you. You COULD turn into a boat in Spy Hunter. I seen it with my own eyes.

So, Wednesday, 1/27, we search for answers, riders. We are going to see out the old video games and beat them - WHILE drinking beer.

MEET: Rounder's Pizza at 6pm if you want dinner (they also have a few sweet games). Ride leaves at 7pm sharp.

We will hit:
Shangra'la - Old school games there
Betsy's Bar - Last time I was there you could play Atari AND Intellivision (speaking of, was there an end to Pitfall?)
Kung Fu Saloon - A new joint that claims to specialize in old school greatness

UPDATE: The good peeps at Kung Fu Saloon have extended us a drink special. Just for WAR riders. God, I hope they have the video game Kung Fu. Or at least Double dragon.

Bring a lock, a helmet, a friend and a sack of quarters. And watch out for Rooney.

THE MAP

WAR XXXX - I'm not 40

2010-01-12T09:47:00.004-06:00

WAR XXXX - 1/13 - Departs 7pm

The Big Four Oh. The WAR is officially middle aged. It’s getting hard to see the crankset over the WAR’s beer gut. The WAR no longer has any business wearing spandex. The bad-ass music trailer has been replaced with a kid-toter.

The WAR might be middle aged. Hell, we might be as well, but that doesn’t mean we have to surrender to the suburban middle ages. We will continue to be the people our parents warned us about until we are the people we are warning OUR kids about.
So, in the theme of NOT being middle-aged (or at least not acting like it)…meet at Cuatro’s in West Campus. (1004 West 24th Street). Meet at 6ish if you want dinner – they have great tacos for the cheap. Being in the campus area, they are bound to have a good beer special as well.

We will hit Uncle Billy’s for Bike Night, Club DeVille and The Crown and Anchor. Ride leave Cuatro’s promptly at 7pm. Bring a light, lock and a friend.

THE MAP

WAR XXXIX - Goodbye 2009

2009-12-29T14:27:00.003-06:00

Well, that about wraps it up for 2009. Any year without a Bush administration is a pretty good year in my book. Plus, by my count, we had 26 WAR rides, meaning we didn't miss a ride. So congradulations to all of you for saving the enviornment and supporting you local brewerys.

For the last ride of 2009, let's hit a few favorite spots. Meet at the flying saucer at 6. Ride leaves at 7. I'm not sure where we will go but I would suspect the draughtt house nastys crown billys woodys or the dog and duck could make their way into the rotation.

Bring a light lock and a friend

WAR XXXVIII - Xmas

2009-12-14T22:27:00.006-06:00

Let's see....parking lots are crowded, the fucking Chipmunks are back, you are out of money and it's cold outside. Yep. It's that time of year again. Merry Freakin Christmas.

The only way to effectively combat the Holiday 'Cheer' is to get out on your damn bike. So we're going to do it Texas Style.

We will hit some of the finer beer joints and honky tonks in town, and make our own of trail of blinky lights.

Meet: Shoal Creek Saloon -- 6pm if you want dinner. Ride leaves at 7pm sharp.

We will hit Shoal Creek, catch WAR favorite Damon Bramblett at the Mean Eyed Cat, a have cold one at Woody's and end up back at Shoal Creek.

Bundle up. Bring your lights and your holiday cheer. Santa suits encouraged.

THE MAP

Christmas Presents!

2009-12-14T21:59:00.005-06:00

Local WAR Rider/Blacksmith/Artist Wendy has generously offered to help all of you last minute Christmas shoppers by bringing her latest creation:

BAD ASS BIKE BELT BUCKLES

Wendy has designed and created these awesome belt buckles, which allow you to to feature the two things you love best (bikes and beer) right above your junk.

Yep. Her genius and beautiful creations feature bike chains, cogs and gears and often feature a handy beer opener as well. So, bring some cash with you. She charges a very reasonable $45 for these hand crafted creations. Buy them for your family and friends and wrap up your Christmas shopping while sipping a cold one.

Check out some of the sweet creations below.

WAR XXXVII - Wahoo

2009-12-02T08:27:00.001-06:00

This one was unposted as I was out of the country. Crowder let it, so I'm sure it involved Wahoo's Fish Tacos in some fashion. The WAR never ends!

WAR XXXVI - Winter??

2009-11-16T21:55:00.004-06:00

Looks like the first cool front of the year descended today. But, looking at the weather on Wednesday, it could be warm or cold. That is Texas weather for you. If you don't like it...just wait...it'll change.

Each of the establishments on the week's WAR can be enjoyed both in and out of doors. So, we are covered. Make sure to bring your lights. It's dark and a lot of the teenagers will be lining up to see the new Twilight movie. Keep away from those vampires!

The Ride - Wed, 11/18

- Dinner: Shoal Creek Saloon: 6pm ish

- Depart Shoal Creek Saloon, 7:15pm - sharp!

- Planned stops: Shoal Creek Saloon, Uncle Billy's Brew's & BBQ, Mean Eyed Cat

Also, work (damn you gainful employment) has summoned me to New York City this week, so we are in need of a leader. UPDATE - WAR regulars Charlton and Eric will be leading this ride. Thanks, fellas.

The Map

WAR XXXV - Knight Rider

2009-11-03T08:35:00.005-06:00

So this weekend marks my least favorite of all holidays. The dreaded 'Fall Back'. I think we should officially change from Daylight Savings Time to Daylight Wasting Time. It sucks.

But, hey...we can bitch and moan about it (and we will) or like a Norwegian Death Metal Band, we can embrace the darkness. So, bust out your headlamps, handlebar lights and change out the batteries in your blinky, because this week we ride in the night.

And as a shout out to the original Knight Rider, let's get drunk and eat cheeseburgers, too.

This week's ride will feature the darkest bars in Austin. The Cloak Room, The Hole in the Wall and Nasty's. But them together and you MIGHT have one window. Embrace the darkness.

Meet: Five Guys Burgers at 6:15pm (32nd and Guadalupe). Ride will depart promptly at 7pm.

Bring: Lots of lights and a friend.

THE MAP

WAR XXXIV - South Austin

2009-10-20T17:12:00.002-05:00

As I am travelling on business this week (Damn you gainful employment!!), this week's WAR will be ghost-written and led by WAR-Veteran Dr. Crowder. Crowder became a doctor because no creative-writing classes were required. Here is the ride:

WAR XXXIV: South Austin

In its history the WAR has made only an occasional stop south of town. This week's ride will take a tour of South Austin visiting some of 78704's finest establishments.

Meet: Threadgill's World Headquarters (301 W. Riverside). Ride leaves at 7:15. Show up early (6ish) if you want to get your eat and/or drink on before the ride.

Route: Not set yet but expect to visit some of the following 04 Lounge, Broken Spoke, Trophy's, Blacksheep Lounge, Horsheshoe Lounge, Ego's (where we will end).

We ride rain or shine. Hope to see you there.

WAR XXXIII - Biketoberfest

2009-10-06T08:44:00.005-05:00

It's that time of year, kids. Lace up your liderhosen, hide your Schnitzel and come out for a bike ride.

This week we will celebrate the great German tradition of drinking copious amounts of beer. Why? Because beer is good, dammit.

Before any of you get snappy, yes Octoberfest is technically over. It's the 16 days leading up to the first Sunday in October. But as US Americans, we have a hard time reconciling that with with the actual inclusion of the word 'October'. Plus, you can say it's over....but was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell No!

The ride - Wednesday - 10/7

Meet: Flying Saucer - 815 W 47th St (The Triangle)

Time: Brats at the 6:15p Depart 7:15p (feed yourself or eat with the family at the Flying Saucer before the ride)

Destinations: Flying Saucer, Scholtz Beer Garten, Draught House

Bring: Bike lights, friends

Attire: German casual. Liderhosen if you got 'em. Women are encouraged to look like the above picture.

Be prepared for a barrage of German Music and stop starting at my wienerschnitzel.

THE MAP

WAR XXXII - The Real ACL

2009-09-21T19:34:00.004-05:00

WAR32 - Wed, 9/23 - 6:30pm

Okay, so just like you I spent a ridiculous amount of money for a wristband that gives me the privilege of standing in the hot Texas sun for three days, in a park I ride by daily with a shitload of people that I don't know. If that were not enough, I get to stand in line and pay double the amount for food I eat everyday. And just for an added kick in the junk - Lone Star is waaay more than $2 a can.

Oh, alright... There are a few bands I want to see. I'll even admit that I am pretty goddamn excited to see the B-52s. I'm know I'm showing my age, but I want me a taste of that sweet Rock Lobster.

But all this did get me thinking. That sure is a lot of jack to go see a few bands. Don't we live in 'The Live Music Capital of the World'? Isn't the REAL ACL every fucking night in Austin? Yeah. It is. I'll prove it - join me on a bike ride and we will drink cheap Lone Stars and see some damn fine music. For free. No wristband required.

We are going to mix it up a bit on this ride and meet for a cocktail at Little Woodrow's on Guadalupe (note on Guadalupe) at 6:30. No Dinner. Ride leaves at 7:00. Then we will mosey down and catch The Belleville Outfit at Scholtz's Beer Garten. Should be time to eat a little BBQ here if you are hungry. Then we will cruise on over to the Mean Eyed Cat to see Opie Hendrix. We will end up at the Hole in the Wall to catch whoever is playing there.

Bring a light, a lock and leave that goddamn wristband at home.

THE MAP

2009-09-08T22:51:00.002-05:00

It is about time we saluted the Blue Collar worker. Yeah, you work in an office, but you know, you wish you had your name on your shirt. Your khaki pants suck. Your shirt has buttons....all the way down. With sleeves. Sleeves. Pathetic.

Seriously. That College Degree? That Graduate Degree? Can you actually DO anything? Can you plumb? Can you wire a socket without electrocuting yourself? Yeah...you have no real skills. So let's pay tribute to those who have actual marketable skills - the blue collar workers.

PBR should not be the cool 'retro' beer. Hell No! It's the beer of hard working Americans. It ain't drunk in a tight-pants-wearing-Hipster-Bar. It always has been and always will be the beer of hard working blue collar Blue-Blood US Americans. You have no skills. Let's salute those who do.

Meet for the true American Meal - the Hot Dog. Franks (4th and Colorado) at 630. Ride leaves at 730. We will hit Deep Eddy's Cabaret, Doc's Motor Works and the Luster Pearle. Show up with a name on your shirt.

THE MAP

WAR XXX - Are you ready for some football?

2009-08-19T21:40:00.004-05:00

Two things to celebrate this week. One, the WAR turns the big 3-0. Unfortunately, I can say I know how that feels. Even more unfortunately, I've still got a few on the WAR.

Next and more importantly, it is finally Football Season. Seriously, are the summers getting longer and with fewer sports worth watching? Football Season, I've missed you.

Big year for the boys in Burnt Orange. We have a lot to prove. #2 Ranking out of the gate. We're #1 - we'll prove it. Another #2 ranking for Colt as a Heisman contender. The only thing second place about Colt is the #2 he is going to take on Tim Tebow's face. 2 is also Tim's IQ - just ask Jesus.

So, the 2nd Annual WAR Football Kick Off is ON. Wear your Burnt Orange and welcome in the season.

Meet - Wed 8/26 - 6:15p at Posse East for some beer and burgers college style. Ride departs at 7:15pm - sharp! We will welcome in the season with a loop around DKR Memorial Stadium.

Then we will move over to Creekside owner Kasey's new venture - the Iron Gate. Kasey has promised a drink special for all WAR riders. Be careful of his 'specials'. I once did a shot of Crawfish Boil and Vodka with him. Just like last year, we are going to relive the 4th Quarter of the 2005 National Championship. Then we will mosey over to the legendary Scholz Beer Garten and finish up at The Crown & Anchor.

Bring a light, lock and a friend. Wear orange and get your Horns up. It's time to Hook 'Em.

THE MAP

The WAR is Famous

2009-08-19T21:25:00.003-05:00

Well, I am not entirely sure quite how, but the WAR is now receiving national attention. I mean, if you want to count 'New York' as national. Personally, anything north of the Red River counts as another country in my book.

However, we did get written up in New York Magazine.

Seriously - New York Magazine.

I wasn't expecting press and certainly not from an actual respected publication. I mean maybe Beer Guzzlers Quarterly, Guns & Ammo or Juggs - but New York Magazine?

So here is the official invitation. If any of you New York yanks want to come ride and drink beer with us, we'd love to have you.

Hell, just to show our Texas hospitality - first one is on me.

WAR XXIX - Two Words

2009-08-11T20:59:00.004-05:00

Okay, WAR 29. That is a lot of planning. While this might not be my most creative idea to date, it is an idea.

Most of our recent rides have been in or around downtown, so we are going to move up to Central Austin this ride. And, the theme of the ride is....drumroll....two words. Yep, everywhere we are going is named with no more, or fewer than two words. Now before you start with me, smart ass, 'the' is not a word, it's an article. Saying 'the' is a word is like saying Texas A&M is an accredited university. While it might exist in a similar plane, it ain't the real thing.

So, let's meet at Santa Rita (see? two words) for some Mexican grub at 6pm. 1206 W 38th St.

We ride at 7pm sharp!

We will hit Spider House, Flying Saucer and Draught House.

Bring lights, a lock and a friend. Don't forget to wear your brain bucket.

...oh, if you don't like the idea, let me know. I have two very special words for you....

THE MAP

WAR XXVIII - Ghost Town

2009-07-27T22:06:00.005-05:00

Just a few more weeks before your daily commute turns sour. Yep, although UT football returns soon, so do the students, school and traffic.

40,000 co-eds are about to descend on Austin like so many hipsters during SWSX. They'll stand in line ahead of you and steal that last cold Lone Star. They'll crowd the doorway of the bars insisting that it is their ID and it just got run through the washer like nine times.

Yep, let's face it - the cheap watering holes are only ours for a few more weeks. So, let's take advantage of the current 'College Bar Ghost Town' and find the cheap brews while we can.

Meet at Posse East (2900 Duval) at 6pm or so for a burger and a cold one. Ride will depart at 7:15 sharp. We'll hit The Library ($1 beer night!), Cuatro's and end up next door to where we started, at the Crown & Anchor. If you don't know where the C&A is, you probably did not know me in the late 90's.

Bring a bike, lock, lights, helmet and a friend.

The Map

WAR = Copyright Infringement?

2009-07-27T21:15:00.003-05:00

Okay - last week WAR really hit the big time. You won't believe it, but I actually got a letter informing me that the Wednesday Urban Assault Ride was infringing on a copyright.

So, cut back on those Wednesday night beers, because we are starting a fund to hire Johnnie Cochran. "If the bike don't fit, you must acquit!"

Here is the letter I received:

-----------

How’s it going? I was just checking out your site. Thanks a lot for promoting our event and coming out to participate!

I need to ask you a favor. For 7 years and over 30 events we’ve produced the Urban Assault Ride and established a name for the event. We trademarked the name and have worked hard to create an understanding of our concept.

I see that you’re running a site called the “Wednesday Urban Assault Ride”. As much as I really like what you’re doing, I have to ask you to not call it the Urban Assault Ride. Not only could it be confusing to potential UAR riders, but there’s also the potential for bigger issues. If a rider were to get hurt or worse on one of your rides and it was publicized, the public would see that there was an accident on an Urban Assault Ride in Austin. You can imagine how this could effect our event, sponsorship. Insurance, etc.

I have no problem with you call your ride the WAR – Wednesday Assault Ride, but the Wednesday Urban Assault Ride is just too close.

I hope you understand and that you’ll make the necessary changes to correct the issue.

---------------

So, our ride is now officially just the Wednesday Assault Ride. But, we keep our fancy acronym, WAR.

I'm poking a bit of fun at the letter we received, but understand the point. Plus, what is the point of fighting someone who support bikes and beer anyway? Although we do have a lawyer that regularly attends the ride, he usually ends up drunk at the end like the rest of us, and probably couldn't provide that much assistance.

But, that said, consider the towable music box with ground effects patented!

WAR XXVII - Tour De France

2009-07-13T13:39:00.003-05:00

If you have not been watching the Tour de France this year, you have really missed out. We are one week into the three week event and it's been riveting.

Austin's favorite rider (aside from me), Lance Armstrong is back after a 4 year retirement to attempt to reclaim the crown.

It's a tall order, because, (and I know most of you will hate to hear this) at 37, Lance is OLD.

But, Lance is made out of approximately 54% awesome and 46% goddamn! He is seconds off the lead and is looking like he has the form to take home his EIGHTH yellow jersey. So, let's salute the Tour and raise a glass to our boy, Lance this week.

Pretend you are French and meet at Le Cafe Crepe (2nd and San Jac) at 6:30pm. Ride leaves at 7:15. We will have a photo op at the Eiffel Tower then hit Little Woodrow's North for a cold one. We will continue our international journey and hit the Dog & Duck and end up at Lance's own bar - Six Lounge.

Bring lights ,a lock and a friend. And for Pete's sake, wear a helmet....Lance does.

THE MAP

Weekend Event - Cutters!

2009-07-11T12:42:00.003-05:00

Mellow Johnny's continues the Tour celebration with a Sunday evening screening of the classic American cycling film, Breaking Away. Put on your Cutters T-shirt and pedal on over.

There are some cool pre-film activities planned. Also, it's free.

There will be bikes and beer as well.

Check out the details here. Don't piss Dennis Quaid off...be there.

Cool Tour de France Kickoff

2009-07-03T11:50:00.002-05:00

We're sending a Texas boy back to France this year to take back to Tour. Lance begins his journey through the Alps to show the cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys what a Texan on a bike can do.

The Alamo Draft House and Mellow Johnny's are having a cool kick off event on Sunday. Here are a few of my favorite parts:

1) It's free 2) There will be bikes 3) There will be beer

I mean, what else do you need. Ride down and let's meet up and cheer Lance on in Stage One.

Here are the details: http://www.originalalamo.com/show.aspx?id=6562

WAR Takes Down the Urban Assault Ride

2009-07-03T11:42:00.002-05:00

The 2009 New Belgium Urban Assault Ride was owned by the WAR. Yeah, we placed in every division. Not bad, considering there were over 1,300 riders, making this the largest bike race in Texas. Next year...Le Tour!

First Place Co-Ed: George & Wendy

Third Place Men: Mat (me) & Tom

Third Place Women: Tresea & Kim

WAR Riders...yeah, we really are that badass.

WAR XXVI - One Year's Old!

2009-06-22T14:29:00.005-05:00

Well, holy shit...it's been a year of WAR. We've logged about 300 miles on our bicycles visiting some of Austin's finer (and not so fine) bars. That means we have collectively logged over 2500 miles on the WAR. We saved the environment from some serious CO2 and most importantly helped out in quelling Austin's growing beer population. You should feel proud of yourselves.

...And what better reward than more of the same? Treat yourself to a cold one on Wednesday, 7/1. The theme to this week will be "The Best of WAR." If you plan on coming (and you should), email me your favorite place the ride has been, along with three songs you'd like to hear. I'll tally the votes and take it from there.

If you have not been on a WAR, shame on you - you are missing out. If you've found yourself saying, "well, there is always next year"....yeah...it's here, so get your fat-ass off the couch and on your bike.

To be continued......

Okay - the votes are in! The overwhealming favorite was Mean Eyed Cat, followed by a new location - The Shangri'la. Thed for third place was 'air conditioning' and 'swimming'. So, we will make it happen.

Meet at Wahoos for dinner 5th&Rio Grande. Dinner at 6:15. We roll at 7pm.

First we will hit a new spot - Abel's on the Lake (by Hula Hut) for a cold one and a dip in Lake Austin - so bring you swimmin' suit. Next we will hit the Mean Eyed Cat, followed by the Shangri'la, we will end up where we started at Dirty Bill's.

I'll load up the jukebox, you bring a lock and a light.

See you there! The Map

WAR - XXV - Gay Bars

2009-06-16T10:38:00.003-05:00

As a salute to the recent Gay Pride week and the recent influx of latent homosexuals in chaps (ROT Rally), we are going to salute the gay bars of Austin.

Plus, Crowder has been asking for this theme for a while.

So, put on your assless chaps, practice your Y.M.C.A and join us on this ride.

We will meet at Iron Works BBQ at 6:15 for some of Austin's best 'Q. (Red River & 1st)

Then, in the imortal words of Freddy Mercury you will 'get on your bikes and ride'. Wheels down promptly at 7pm. We will start off at the Rainbow Cattle Company then move on to Charlie's. After a requisite tour of the Capitol, we will hit Oilcan Harry's. Finally, we will end up right by our starting spot at Chain Drive (don't feed the bears).

Bring a light, lock and a friend. See you there.

The Map

WAR - The Other Urban Assualt Ride

2009-06-15T10:38:00.002-05:00

It's here....the other Urban Assault Ride. Our good friends at New Belgium Brewery, who have the same passions as we do - bikes and beers - are hosting the glorious Urban Assault Race on 6/28 here in Austin.

This is a must attend event. I've done it for two years now and it is a blast. Part adventure race, part scavenger hunt, all silliness with free beer at the end.

Team up with another WAR rider to take on this challenge. It's a hell of a lot of fun. Expect to ride a big wheel, just like when you were 4 years old and way more badass than you are now. You might also ride a clown bike, joust and swim. The only thing I can assure you is you will have a great time and end up with a nice Sunday afternoon buzz.

Register here. http://www.urbanassaultride.com/ Wear good costumes. Wear sunscreen. Tell them I sent you (free swag for referrals) - mat.thompson33@gmail.com

Ride on! Mat.

WAR XXIV - Bachleor Party!

2009-06-02T11:10:00.002-05:00

Well, against all odds and many wagers, I'm getting married. I leave Thursday morning for OKC to get hitched on Saturday. And if I've done my math correctly, that leaves me one more ride as a single man.

So, come out Wednesday for a ride - bachelor party style. We will visit some of my favorite places in Austin. I know this ride is a bit self-serving, but if you don't like it, plan your own damn ride.

Every day as a Senior at the great University of Texas, I would walk home from class and have a jalapeno cheeseburger and a Shiner Bock at the Crown & Anchor. Only cost me $5. It's a little more expensive these days, but the beer is still cold and the fries are still hot. So, let's meet at Crown at 6:15pm for a beer and a cold one.

We will then take a tour around campus for old times sake and then visit the Flying Saucer for a craft beer.

Then we are on to Billy's to lounge on the deck and finally to my favorite bar - The Draught Horse. I know, technically now it is the House, but I'm nostalgic.

See you on Wednesday. Bring lights, a lock and a friend. Next time you see me, I'll be wearing a ring (provided Christina shows).

THE MAP

WAR XXIII - Top Gun

2009-05-18T22:01:00.006-05:00

So, I was drinking beer with a few WAR Veterans, thinking about how great it is outside right now. Not hot, not cold, just perfect. So, planning the WAR ride (which is, by the way, redundant), I'm thinking outdoor locations.

Then, for some strange reason, it hits me. We need to pay tribute to a great childhood memory and military recruiting agent, Top Gun. This is movie gold, Pre-Scientology Tom Cruise, and Kenny Loggins at his best.

What? You say what it is the relevance? Well, let's see...... first, Top Gun was released May 13, 1986, making this the 23th Anniversary. Second, Kelly McGillis, who is quite possibility responsible for my first boner just came out as a lesbian.....just my luck. Seriously - check it out - http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20275794,00.html

Finally - Kenny Loggins and homoerotic scenes with 'seaman' playing volleyball...how better to welcome in summer.

So......unless 'You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin", meet at Uncle Billy's BBQ on Barton Springs Road at 6pm for dinner. Ride starts at 7pm. Next we will visit Aussie's, for some mandatory beach volleyball. You don't have to take your shirt off, but you do have to give a five both high and low like the Iceman. Singing 'Playin With the Boys' is optional as well.

Next, it's time to buzz a tower - we'll hit the Tinest Bar in Texas. Yee Haw...Jester's Dead.

Finally, we will finish at BS Saloon, where we will sing 'Great Balls of Fire' to mourn anyone we might lose in a flat spin.

Oh - for this ride only - you can't go by your own name - pick a call sign. Be creative - Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Jester, Wolfman, Hollywood, Slider and Charlie are not allowed.

Bring light, lock and cash. And, NEVER EVER leave your wingman.

THE MAP

WAR XXII - Cinco de Mayo

2009-05-05T13:02:00.005-05:00

Ok, so technically, it is Seis de Mayo, but close enough, right?

Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexico's unlikely defeat of the French in 1862. I think the Mexicans are onto something here....If we make every defeat of the French a holiday, we'll never work again!

So, it is time to celebrate Cinco de Mayo WAR style. Put on your sombrero, shove a lime in your beer and hop on your bike, because we are goin' East Side, esse.

We will meet for dinner at El Chile - 1809 Manor - at 6:15pm. El Chile has, in my opinion (which is always right), some of the best mexican food in town. They also have great Micheladas. Ride starts promptly at 7pm. We will visit Rio Grande downtown, take a tour of the East Side, visit Fiesta Gardens, thumb our noses at the French Legation Museum and have a cold one at the Long Branch Saloon. We will end up next door to where we started on the porch of the Red House.

Bring lights, a helmet, a lock and some friends. See you there.

THE MAP

Real Ale Ride - May 30th

2009-04-22T15:05:00.005-05:00

I love bikes and I love beer. If my wife is reading this, I love her too.

What I love most of all is bikes and beer together (hence the WAR). What I love more than most of all is good beer and bikes together. So, a number of us WAR verterans are going out to ride the Real Ale Ride in Blanco, TX on 5/30.

The Real Ale Brewery is making some of the best beer in the country right now in my opinion. You should listen to my opinion, because I'm always right. However, the little brewery down the road is more than just great beer; they are very supportative of cycling and also adhere firmly to green standards. So let's support these fine folks and also suck down a few of their fine beverages.

The ride is totally supported, you can pick lengths of 15-80 miles and afterwards - the three "B's" - Beer, BBQ and Brewery Tours!

Post a comment below if you plan on heading out and we'll be on the lookout for you.

WAR XXI - Happy 21st Bithday!

2009-04-20T10:16:00.002-05:00

Well, mathematically, it was bound to happen. The Wednesday urban Assault Ride is officially old enough to drink. I don't know if you remember your 21st Birthday, but I do remember a portion of mine.

Let's see, being 21, of course we went to 6th street and visited a bunch of bars which don't exist anymore. If you remember The Black Cat, Joe's Generic Bar, Steamboat, Tropical Isle or the Daiquiri Factory you might have been there. You know, all of those bars are gone now. In fact, hell, I think all of the bars on 6th have changed. I don't even know where the kids puke anymore. Anyway, my night culminated by being thrown out of one of those fine establishments when a friend of mine attempted to head butt a towel dispenser. (He lost and has still has the scar to prove it.)

So, this week, let's attempt to recreate our 21st birthdays. I mean, really how long has it been since you tasted the sweet sweet nectar that is a Flaming Dr. Pepper? This re-creation is like visiting the Gettysburg battlegrounds - you know SOMETHING happened there, but all the evidence is long gone.

Well, let's give it a shot. Meet for a nice college meal at Plucker's - 22nd and Rio Grande at 6:15. Ride will depart at 7:00pm. Then we will visit the last remaining 'legacy' bar on 6th Street - Shakespeare’s. From there we'll visit the 'north legacy' - Nasty's. Finally, we will hang out with the frat boys at Cain & Ables.

See you there. Party on, Wayne.

THE MAP

WAR XX - Spring has Sprung

2009-04-07T10:30:00.003-05:00

Last WAR, we had a few brave souls brave the rain and hail to make it out and grab a beer. Well, at least we got soaked on the inside as well.

The trees are blooming, the grass is green, and the kids are back from break...it must be spring. The weather is predicted to be perfect, so lets have a ride through a few Austin Parks and grab a beer at some establishments with outdoor seating.

Meet at Trudys (Texas Star - 409 W 30th) at 6:15pm for dinner. Ride will start promptly at 7:15. We will visit Shoal Creek Saloon and Cuatros, ending up at the Spider House, next door to our starting location.

Wear a helmet, bring a spare tube, a bike lock, lights and a friend.

THE MAP

WAR - XIX - Exodus of the Hipster

2009-03-23T13:56:00.006-05:00

I hope everyone got out to enjoy the great weather and catch a few SXSW shows this weekend. A lot of us discovered new and interesting places to drink free beer all weekend. I think I injured my liver.

The Hipsters were out in full force last week, and nearly took over the town. Fortunately, I heard a truck load of PBR bound for Austin overturned in Waco and left many without their 'ironic substanance'. They were left to depart for higher grounds....mainly Williamsburg, I think.

So, put away your trucker's hat and throwback sunglasses until next year and let's celebrate a few spots than weren't SXSW venues, but make Austin the place that us locals enjoy year round.

Pretty unique to Austin - let's meet up for dinner and a beer at a cool patio location...of a grocery store. Meet at Central Market (38th and Lamar) at 6:30 - 3/25. You can grab some delicious food and a cold one. We willl depart at 7pm.

We'll check out the Crown, pay Mr. Potatohead a visit and finish up and a bar that strives to be a parking lot - the Draught House.

Bring your helmet, lock and friends. Hipsters forbidden!

THE MAP

WAR XVIII - Put a little Irish in ya'

2009-03-08T17:17:00.007-05:00

WAR XVIII is scheduled for MONDAY, 3/16. So, we are close enough to St. Patrick's Day to officially saulte the Irish.

Although St. Paddy's Day is a great holiday, it's kinda weird when you think about it. It is the only holiday I can think of that celebrates by sterotype. We celebrate Irish heritage by wearing green and getting loaded. Weirder still - the Irish embrace it.

Hey, if they don't mind, neither do I. Let's honor the Lepurchans with an Irish Pub Crawl. We'll hit Austin's finer 'really , it's NOT Bennigan's' style pubs. Expect to visit BD Reileys, Bull McCabes, Fado and Mother Egans.

If you want some Irish eats before the ride, meet at Fado (214 W. 4th) at 6:15p. Ride starts promptly at 7:00p. Wear green. Ladies, feel free to show your shamrocks and kiss me - I'm Irish.

I'll buy a beer for the first person to down an Irish Car Bomb.

WAR XVII - Texas Independance Day

2009-02-23T18:10:00.005-06:00

WAR XVII is upon us, as is my favorite National Holiday: Texas Independence Day.

On March 2 each year, we celebrate our state's independence; the signing of the declaration, the drawing of the line in the sand. We remember San Jacinto. We remember the Alamo. But most of all, we celebrate our Texas Pride.

We're the biggest state in the union. No, Alaska doesn't count - if you melted the ice, we'd be bigger. As Texans we're proud of everything in our state - our food, our beer, our football, our size, our flag, our music. But, mostly we proud of our pride. And we're proud of that pride too!

The Capitol is the only state capitol building taller than the U.S. Capitol. We're the only state that can legally fly our flag at the same height as the US Flag. That, my friend, is pride.

So, let's be proud, and proud of our pride and visit a few classic "Texas Bars". What better way to start out than eating a bowl of the State Food of Texas - Chili. We'll then make our way around the city, visiting Scholtz's Beer Garten and Donn's Depot as well as a few Texas landmarks.

Meet at TCP (Texas Chili Parlor - 14th & Lavaca) at 6:30pm, this Wednesday - 2/25 for dinner. Ride will begin at 7:15 sharp, so be there early if you want a bowl of red.

Bring lights, lock, helmet and friends. Drinking at least one Lone Star will be mandatory. Oh, and Don't Mess With Texas.

The Map

WAR XVI - You're a Dick

2009-02-10T11:58:00.002-06:00

WAR XVI is scheduled for Wednesday, Feb 11. On this day in 2006, our (ex) Vice President shot an 80 year old dude in the face. With a shotgun. In the face.

The hell of it is, that was about the kindest thing he did all year! Mr. Cheney, you really are quite a Dick. Now that the bastard is gone, let's salute his face-shooting with a bike ride. I'm sure Dick would approve of us stopping for a beer or two. He's had two DWIs.

So, since I couldn't find a bar called 'Evil's' or 'Darth Vader's Lounge', I've composed the ride around three words which adaquately describe the face-shooter. Dirty, Nasty and Mean.

So the ride will visit Dirty Bill's, The Mean Eyed Cat and Nasty's. If you want some food beforehand, let's meet at El Arroyo (1624 W. 5th St.) at 6pm. We will be riding at 7pm. Ride ends at the Mean Eyed Cat, so you can park in the general area. The weather is supposed to clear up nicely tomorrow with temps in the 70s. Bring a front and back light and a friend. Just don't shoot them.

Oh, Wedneday is also Sarah Palin's birthday. Weird, huh?

THE MAP

WAR XV - Animals

2009-01-28T10:49:00.002-06:00

This week's WAR ride will be a salute, or shout-out, as the kids say these days to our furry friends. No, not me, it's NOT back hair - it's extremely upper chest hair. I'm talking our LITTLE furry friends - the animals.

I love animals, they are delicious. So, this week, let's eat a few and wash them down with a cold beer. It is chilly, so wear something made of your favorite animal (in this weather my fave is goose).

Our ride will feature three animal themed bars.

Meet at Spider House (2908 Fruth St) at 6:30 for a dinner. We will head out at 7:15.

Next is the Dog & Duck, followed by the Hole in the Wall. (you know, where the rats and mice live...work with me)

Dress warm...bring a friend. And wear your animal print undies!

WAR XIV - Changes

2009-01-13T18:33:00.004-06:00

2009. New Year. New President. New Resolutions. Lots of changes. So rather than slipping back into the normalcy of fearing change, we are going to embrace it.

As the man said, "Turn and face the strange." He also told me take my protein pills and put my helmet on, but that is a different ride.

Ch..ch..ch..changes!

We'll start the ride at Drungo's Ice House at 29th and Guadalupe. If you have lived in Austin or went to school here, you know this place as HangTown, Pongo's, etc. etc. etc. I think this restaurant changes ownership monthly. Meet there at 6:30 if you want food and/or snacks. Ride starts promptly at 7:15.

I can't trace time....Cedar Door. This bar has moved three times. Not the concept, the whole BAR, man. You might remember it by the power plant, or if you are really old where the convention center is currently. If you had a beer at the original location on 15th street, bring your Metamucil tabs.

Turn and face the strange....the Gingerman is leaving. Those fucking condos again. They took Waterloo Brewing next door and now they are taking the Gingerman. It's not all bad news the G-Man found a new location close by. They will be moving very soon, so this could be your last chance to grab a $7 beer at the original location.

Time may change me....Little Woodrow's is the next stop. And no, you HAVEN'T been there, jackass. Remember the Showdown? No? - Remember throwing up in that bar on the drag? Yeah, THAT was the Showdown. Sadly, it is no longer there. However, Little Woodrows is - forever to be known as 'the other Little Woodrows'. As an added benefit, you can still puke there.

Ride is short, under 10 miles. Bring a front and rear light and a lock. It should warm up tomorrow, but don't get cold - dress for the weather.

Change - Yes we can!

See you there, bring a friend.

THE MAP

WAR XIII - The Great White North

2008-12-11T09:42:00.008-06:00

The WAR Ride makes it's 13th appearance this week in the great white north.

Put on your tooks, grab your mounties and head up north of town this week! It is time to visit our cousins to the north, eh? This week we will officially surrender to the cold by honoring 'America's Attic' with a Northen Austin tour.

Oh...Canada. You have the biggest case of penis envy ever. You are just so cute travelling abroad with your maple flag backpacks and your Palin-inspired drawl. Oh...Canada...you've given us the good (Neil Young, Cowboy Junkies) the bad (Bryan Adams, Celine Dion) and the ugly (Cory Hart and Cory Haim - both Corys? really Canada??) But, Canada, you have really enjoyed the past eight years, haven't you? Looking down your nose when we made international fools of ourselves...loving it when us USAmericans claimed to be from Toronto when travelling abroad. But, Canada...oh, Canada...your Prime Minister just dismantled Parliament when impeachment was threatened. Oh Canada...it's aboot time you feel our pain. We salute you, eh?

From an actual web-site debunking 'Top 10 Myths about (aboot) Canada':

#1 (Yes...NUMBER ONE) - Myth: We live in igloos. Reality: We live in houses, and they are very well built houses.

Oh Canada....that is awesome!

We will hit a few of Austin's finer Roadhouse establishments, including Lala's (where it's always Christmas), the Poodle Dog (where it's always toothless), Ginny's and Billy's. Hell, just call it the Canadian Roadhouse Tour (no Swayze isn't Candadian, but Cory Hart was in Roadhouse 2).

Meet: Billy's 2105 Hancock Dr (Burnet and Hancock)

Time: Meet for dinner at 6pm, ride starts at 7pm

Bring: Lights, locks, warmth, and a friend

THE MAP

Jingle Bell Ride

2008-12-11T09:14:00.003-06:00

Pull up your stockings and grab your Ho's, because we are joining this year's annual Jingle Bell ride.

For one night, the Trail of Tears...errr...Lights is open to cyclists. So, skip the parking hassle and crowds this year and join us.

The ride starts at 6pm at the baseball fields at Zilker (back entrance to Bartron Springs). Meet up early at Uncle Billy's BBQ on Barton Springs road for Happy Hour - 5pm. The Jingle Bell Ride has a long and short version. The official WAR ride will be, of course, doing the long ride (about 8 miles). This is a great ride to bring the family and kids on as well. There should be several hundred riders - lots of little ones.

The ride hits the Trail of Lights, followed by a Hot Chocolate and Cookie stop at the Mopac Bridge. Santa's little elves will ride back via the hike and bike, while the Reindeer will take a tour of Austin Neighborhoods that have been lit up like a Damn Christmas Tree.

Sadly, whoever planned the route forgot to include beer stops. So, this ride is B.Y.O.H.C (Bring Your Own Holiday Cheer). Nog it up, dude! I'll be towing the tunes box with my collection of obnoxious christmas songs (who wants a Hippopotamus for Xmas?).

Ride details: http://bicyclesportshop.com/page.cfm?pageId=1331

The Map: http://www.thebikechick.com/BSS/Jingle_Bell_Ride_08.pdf

WAR XII - Ice House

2008-11-17T11:37:00.004-06:00

WAR XII - This week the WAR Ride will officially welcome in the fall chill by honoring the blue collar bar - the ice house. (Get it? Fall chill...ice house? I'm a f'ing genius)

The Ice House is typically a low-key, largely outdoor bar frequented by guys with names on their shirts. Horseshoes might be thrown, ice cold beer will certainly be consumed, and the 'pub grub' ususally ranges from hot dogs to...well, hot dogs. Sounds like a nice place for a bike ride.

We will meet for an optional dinner at Wahoo's (6th and Rio Grande) at 6:30. The ride will officially depart at 7:15. We will visit The Scoot Inn, The Jackalope and Dirty Bill's. I know, technically these aren't all true Ice Houses, but until Kasey gets off his ass and builds me one, it is the best I can do. There is also a short film festival playing at nearby Republic Square, we might ride by and check out a movie or two. http://www.austinfilm.org/film/afs_movies_in_the_park_austin_shorts

The Details:

Wed 11/19

Optional dinner: Wahoo's, 6:30p

Wheels Down: 7:15p

Return: 10p

Make sure to bring bike lights. Wear a shirt with your name on it. Bring a light jacket.

See you there. Bring a friend.

THE MAP

WAR - XI - Politics

2008-11-17T10:54:00.004-06:00

It is time to meet up for W.A.R. XI - The Political Ride.

Can we drink beer and ride bikes, yes we can!

Meet up this week to discuss politics, the presidency and the general state of the union. Regardless of your political leanings, everyone can agree that beer tastes good. So, in the spirit of democracy, this weeks ride visits some of Austin's finer 'political bars'.

The ride starts 11/5, 7pm at Scholtz's Beer Garden and finishes by the Capitol at the Cloak Room.

See you there!

Thanks to Juanpablo and Teresa for leading this ride.

Update: A new discovery was made on the ride, check it out:http://www.austinsambaschool.org/

WAR X - Biketoberfest

2008-10-20T16:55:00.007-05:00

Damn. Them are some big beers.

It's that time of year, kids. Lace up your liderhosen, hide your Schnitzel and come out for a bike ride.

This week we will celebrate the great German tradition of drinking copious amounts of beer. Why? Because beer is good, dammit.

Last year's Oktoberfest in the motherland saw 14,793,000 pints consumed. Some might say that is alot of beer. I might say we have beat those dirty Germans once, and by god let's do it again.

The ride - Wednesday - 10/22

Meet: Flying Saucer - 815 W 47th St (The Triangle)

Time: Depart 7:30 (feed yourself or eat with the family at the Flying Saucer before the ride) Be preped to pedal at 7:30 SHARP!

Return: Same spot, 10pm

Bring: Bike lights, friends

Attire: German casual. Liderhosen if you got 'em. Women are encouraged to look like the above picture.

In the words of Gretl von Trap: 'the sun has gone to bed and so must I....goodnight...goodnight....goodnight!'

THE MAP

Weekend Warriors

2008-10-13T10:06:00.002-05:00

The long wait is over, and this weekend New Belgium's 'Tour de Fat' is scheduled to return to our fair city. This event celebrates two of the greatest things in the world - beer and bikes. Our plan is to meet down at Festival Gardens at 9am. No fair driving your car. I'm sure we will schedule a breakfast beforehand, so check back or give me a call.

This is a family friendly event as well. The bike parade departs at 10am, but you need to get there early to register.

Ride returns to Festival Gardens at 11am, where the kegs are tapped, and there are multiple live shows - music, juggling, puppet and otherwise. If you believe in the over-used phrase 'Keep Austin Weird' - this is the event.

Costumes are HIGHLY ENCOURAGED. I'm thinking we go with 'Cowboys and Indians'.

The Number One Texas Longhorns have graciously schedule their home game around this event - they play at 7pm. So, no excuses. Also, if you have extra tickets - I'm your buddy, right?

Here is the full lineup - http://www.tour-de-fat.com/city/austin

WAR IX - Nine Times....

2008-10-06T16:10:00.005-05:00

Nine times??

Nine times......

Nine times......the WAR continues.

I have an unfortunate business obligation and sadly won't be able to make this ride, so I'm passing over the reigns to Eric "Dr. Feelgood" Crowder. If you need medicial attention, or someone to buy a beer for, he's your man.

The ride this week will start and end at Little Woodrow's on 6th Street. The weather is perfect for bike riding and outdoor beer drinking, so I guess this location is actually more than perfect.

If you have been absent from one or more rides (if your name ain't Mat or Charlie - I'm talking to you), you have missed some good times. We've seen Bruce Robison perfom, called 911, had the Capitol Police aid in bicycle repair, seen Vince Young, hauled a dog, introduced tunes, and had a goodly number of beers along the way. So if you have not been in a while, or not at all get off your ass and join us. In the immortal words of Ferris Buller, "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

WAR IX

Start/End - Little Woodrows - 6th St.

7pm start

Be there - bring a friend.

THE MAP

WAR VIII - Honky Tonk Heroes Like Me

2008-09-11T10:09:00.004-05:00

We made it through the blistering summer heat to the official start of Fall. No, not the equinox, dumbass - ACL. Prepare yourself for thousands of hipsters, hippies, and weekend vegans to decend upon our town to tromp down the grass at Zilker Park. Well, at least we get some excellent music.

So, this week we are going to break from the ACL Indie Scene by going back to Texas music roots - the Honky Tonk. You don't need a giant flag, a pesant shirt and a 'crotch stash' to enjoy Texas music. All you need is a cold Lone Star on a picnic table and quarter for the jukebox. We will ride out Wednesday a visit a few of Austin's saloons, where we will be able sip a cold one while sitting on an old oak bench. Places where PBR isn't considered 'retro'.

We are going to try something new this ride and not schedule dinner. Hopefully we will finish at a more reasonable hour. So, please feed youself before the ride. We are starting this week at Shoal Creek Saloon, so I suspect a few folks will meet up early and eat there - I know I will.

The Ride - Wed, 9/24

- Depart Shoal Creek Saloon, 7:15pm - sharp!

- Ride is approx 9.5mi

- Planned stops: Shoal Creek Saloon, Uncle Billy's Brew's & BBQ, Mean Eyed Cat

- Please wear a helmet and bring a light

- Suggested attire - Pearl Snap Shirt

Remember - no planned dinner on the ride. Eat first or go hungry. Or, be social and come eat with the family at Shoal Creek about 6:30.

If you want to add another 10mi or so, I'll be departing my house at 6pm.

The Map

Nightime is coming eariler and the vampires are out. Please come to the next ride lit up like a damn Christmas tree. Garlic is optional. Johnny Law requires a red tail light and a white front light. I hate to side with The Man, but he's right on this one. You don't have to spend a lot, just grab something like this: Come on baby light my fire.

WAR VII - Margaritas

2008-09-04T13:50:00.008-05:00

Ride Time: Wed, 9/10, 7:15pm

On September 16, 1810, Manuel Hildalgo rang the bells of his town church calling everyone to fight for Mexico's independence from Spain. 10 years (or one long Spanish siesta) later, Mexico stood alone.

We USAmericans celebrate our independence by blowing shit up. However, the Mexicans have a much more refined celebration tool - Tequila!

So, this week's W.A.R. will celebrate diez y seis (a bit early) with a salute to the Margarita! We will take off on our bikes and declare our very own independence from work and cars in search of a few of Austin's finer Margaritas!

Planned stops are Trudy's, Opal Divines and the first East Side location on the W.A.R. - El Chile!
As usual, our ride will likely include a few additional locations central to the theme.

The Plan: Ride starts at Crown & Anchor. We roll at 7:15pm SHARP! If you want a pre-ride Dos Equis, chug and pay up by wheels down.
Ride ends at Trudy's Texas Star at 9:30-10:00pm. Distance: 8-10miles. Please wear a helmet and bring a rear bike light.

Special attire for this ride: Guyaberas!

If you want a bit longer ride, I'll be departing from my (new) house - 5612 Shoalwood by 6:30pm and getting in 10+ additional miles. I'll be towing the tunes, so it won't be fast!

The Map. See you there, bring a friend. Via con Dios!

Also, this new Blog allows you to post comments, so if you have suggestions etc, post them!

More rides to plan for!

2008-09-02T10:04:00.001-05:00

If you are marking events on your calender, make sure to add these two events:

1) The 26th Annual Harvest Moon Cruize - Sept 14 - Lamar Ped Bridge - 2am

This happens once a year. I caught it last year (by accident). This is as 'Austin' as you get, folks. There will be 400-500 riders leaving the Lamar Ped Bridge at 2am and going on a leisurely ride around Austin. There are frequent stops where everyone parties and dances. People haul beer, kegs, coolers, sound systems and everything else you can imagine. It's really quite amazing. Ride usually finishes somewhere downtown about 5am. I stumbled upon this ride last year (quite literally) and it was really amazing. Try to plan on it. Note - that day is a Sunday - ride starts at 2am (you can also look at this as really late Sat night). I know it's late, but it is worth it.
http://www.atxbs.com/?q=node/336

2) Tour de Fat - Oct 18 - Festival Gardens 9am-4pm

Crowder and I went last fall and this was eaisly the coolest thing I did last year This event is sponsored by the New Belgian Brewery (Fat Tire) and is a very weird blend of a bike parade/carnival/revival. The brewery brings all sorts of bizarre bikes. Beer, live music, and a short, very fun bike ride. Strange costumes are highly encouraged. This is a good event to bring the family as well. Seriously - don't miss this one.
http://www.tour-de-fat.com/city/austin

This event is really hard to describe - youtube is worth 1,000 words - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pChGFDlwSXo

If you are looking for more bike stuff to do in town, check out this blog and subscribe to his mailing list. www.atxbs.com (Austin Bike S*it)

-mat

WAR VI - Are you ready for some football?

2008-09-02T09:57:00.000-05:00

The Wednesday urban Assault Ride makes it's 6th appearance this week in a salute to Football Season.

Damn, it's been a hot summer. But the sweltering heat of August welcomes this week's hero, Football Season! If you are like me (and you probably wish you are), you've had it with baseball, golf and synchronized diving. It is time for some good 'ol US American football. The Longhorns debut this week against the Florida Atlantic University Burrowing Owls. The Owls are apparently one of the finest High School Teams in the state of Florida. Should be an interesting year for the Horns with a lot of new talent. So, let's welcome in Football Season with a bike ride. We will meet at the Alumni Center and do a 'Texas Football Tour' with a loop around the stadium, and a tour of some classic Longhorn sports bars, including Scholtz's, The Tavern, and local legend - Creekside.

As an added bonus, Wednesday is LBJ's 100th birthday. The LBJ library will hold a birthday bash with FREE Rudy's BBQ and Amy's Ice Cream. The event will be held at the LBJ Library from 6-8pm. Parking might be tight, so get there early or ride in. Thanks to Charlie for the idea! There will be no scheduled 'Long Ride' this week, so you'll have an opportunity to honor LBJ by eating free food. As an added bonus, the Clock Tower will be lit up with '100' all night, hopefully to honor LBJ's birthday and not the estimated number of Colt McCoy interceptions this year. The LBJ event is not 'on the ride', if you want to attend, go beforehand. It's going to be too crowded to try and meet up, so you are on your own.
http://www.lbj100.org/

The Ride:

Start/End: The Alumni Center, across from the Stadium on San Jacinto
Time: Ride leaves at 7:15pm SHARP, return approx 10p
Distance: 8-10miles
Difficulty: Easy
Bring: Helmet, bike lights (front and rear), lock, beer money
Attire: All riders are strongly encouraged to wear some Longhorn gear

The Map

WAR V - Back to School

2008-09-02T09:54:00.000-05:00

The Wednesday urban Assault Ride continues for part V - Back To School!

Well, it is time for all of the kids to go back to school. Check that - it's time for YOUR kids to go back to school. Yeah, that's right - we're old. But riding into West Campus last ride brought back memories of what school really is about - keg stands, frat parties, beer bongs, and the god-given right to have a couch on your front porch without shame! We might be getting older, but we ain't done - and this Wednesday, get prepared to go Back To School!

Our ride will take us to a few old haunts, and I can pretty much promise we'll ride by somewhere you: A) lived B) threw up C) both. Plan on meeting at Posse East. Wheels down at 7pm sharp - no waiting. If you want a pre-ride beer, hey man, that's up to you. My mom is sending me a check, so if it gets here in time, I'll join you. Ride will start at the Posse East and end at the Crown (optional finishing beer), so park there. This will be a fairly tame ride, so bring a friend. We should finish up about 9:30pm.

If you are up for more of a challenge, meet at my house. Wheels down at 6:30pm SHARP - no waiting! We will have a brisk ride to the Posse East to get a few more miles in.

The Groups:

Seniors - Meet at Mat's House (808 Ethel 78704) - ride at 6:30p - 18miles total
Freshmen - Meet at Posse East (if you have to look it up, you aren't invited) - ride at 7pm - 7.5mi total

Bring: Bike, rear blinky light, helmet, beer money

See you at orientation

The Map

WAR - IV - Vive le Tour!

2008-09-02T09:47:00.001-05:00

Nothing says ‘teamwork’ like lighting your buddy’s cig while riding in the Alps.

Congratulations to Carlos Sastre, this year’s winner of the Maillot Jaune – the Yellow Jersey. He either out-rode or out-doped the rest of the field up Alpe d’Huez to take an insurmountable lead. The Tour is cycling’s premiere event, but has been plagued with scandal for the past, well 80 years or so. No matter, drugs or no drugs these guys are amazing athletes and ride a blistering 2,200 miles in 23 days. Depending on whom you believe, Floyd Landis rode it with either a belly full of Jack Daniels or a Testosterone patch on his junk. Either way is manly in my book.

So, this week’s Wednesday urban Assault Ride (WAR) will feature a Texan’s salute to the tour. We will ride down Austin’s Champs Elysees and I promise we will see the Eiffel Tower. A few stops are planned at some of Austin’s finer ‘European’ watering holes. Bring your bike and all the EPO you can eat. The post-ride drug test location will be the rear wheel of Crowder’s new bike.

Meeting Points:

The Breakaway Group – 6:30pm – Mat’s House – 808 Ethel (Est. 18-20mi total)

The Peleton – 7:10pm – Mellow Johnny’s Bike Shop. http://www.mellowjohnnys.com/ (Est. 8-10mi total)

Mellow Johnny is a Texan version of the French ‘Maillot Jaune’

They have good Espresso if you get there early!

Return time will be about 9:30pm

Required: Bike (most any kind will do), helmet, bike light (rear at least), beer money

Recommended: Lock, bell

Special Equipment: None

The Map

WAR III - Rooftops

2008-09-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

W.A.R. Part III – Sniper Fire!

Ok. This time, I promise no insane hills. Seriously. I promise.

The Wednesday Assault Ride will make it’s third appearance on 7/16. This week, prepare for a tour around the city with a theme of “Up on the Roof” (insert The Drifters into the background). We will have a nice ride, with a few visits to some lovely Austin Rooftop bars where we will drink beer and look down our nose at those dirty car drivers. (Thumbing your nose is optional) The ride will finish with a view of the (almost) full moon from an undisclosed secret rooftop top location.

Meeting points:

Manly Men – Mat’s House – Wheels Down @ 6:30pm (Est. Distance 15-18mi)

Girly Men – S.R.V. Statue on Town Lake @ 7:00pm (Est. Distance 10-12mi) – Park at Threadgills, RunTex, Etc.

Return time will be about 9:30pm

Required: Bike (most any kind will do), helmet, Rear Light, beer money

Recommended: Lock, bell

Special Equipment: None

The Map

WAR II - Swimmin' Holes

2008-09-02T09:43:00.000-05:00

Ladies and Gents and Sean,

The 2^nd Bi-Monthly Wednesday Assault Ride (WAR) is on! Most of you missed the inaugural WAR ride, but it did end with a message on my work voicemail that said ‘my ass hurts and it is all your fault’. That was fun to explain to the secretary.

Every other Wednesday there will be an Urban Assault on Austin via bicycle, We will have different routes each week, and explore the city on two wheels. Often times, we get thirsty, so there are planned pit stops. Basically, we are talking a pub crawl in spandex.

This week’s ride will focus on officially surrendering to the heat. Don’t worry about watering your dead lawn or slathering even more sunscreen on the kids. Just get on your bike and ride. This is a ‘no-drop’ ride, meaning we go as fast as slowest rider, so everyone can come along. Routes are in the 12mile range – not hard.

Required: Bike (most any kind will do), helmet, beer money or credit card

Recommended: Bike light, lock, bell

Special gear required this week: Hawaiian shirt, $10 cash and clothes you can get wet / swim suit (tiny bikini for the ladiezzz)

Time: Wed, July 2 Wheels down at 6:30p (we LEAVE at 6:30)

Where: Mat’s house – 808 Ethel

I’m guessing we will finish at around 9-930p, depending on pit stops. You can always bail out early.

Pedal on……

The Map

WAR I - The Beginning

2008-09-02T09:38:00.000-05:00

Here is where it all started.

The Map