WAR XXXII - The Real ACL

WAR32 - Wed, 9/23 - 6:30pm

Okay, so just like you I spent a ridiculous amount of money for a wristband that gives me the privilege of standing in the hot Texas sun for three days, in a park I ride by daily with a shitload of people that I don't know. If that were not enough, I get to stand in line and pay double the amount for food I eat everyday. And just for an added kick in the junk - Lone Star is waaay more than $2 a can.

Oh, alright... There are a few bands I want to see. I'll even admit that I am pretty goddamn excited to see the B-52s. I'm know I'm showing my age, but I want me a taste of that sweet Rock Lobster.

But all this did get me thinking. That sure is a lot of jack to go see a few bands. Don't we live in 'The Live Music Capital of the World'? Isn't the REAL ACL every fucking night in Austin? Yeah. It is. I'll prove it - join me on a bike ride and we will drink cheap Lone Stars and see some damn fine music. For free. No wristband required.

We are going to mix it up a bit on this ride and meet for a cocktail at Little Woodrow's on Guadalupe (note on Guadalupe) at 6:30. No Dinner. Ride leaves at 7:00. Then we will mosey down and catch The Belleville Outfit at Scholtz's Beer Garten. Should be time to eat a little BBQ here if you are hungry. Then we will cruise on over to the Mean Eyed Cat to see Opie Hendrix. We will end up at the Hole in the Wall to catch whoever is playing there.

Bring a light, a lock and leave that goddamn wristband at home.

THE MAP

It is about time we saluted the Blue Collar worker. Yeah, you work in an office, but you know, you wish you had your name on your shirt. Your khaki pants suck. Your shirt has buttons....all the way down. With sleeves. Sleeves. Pathetic.

Seriously. That College Degree? That Graduate Degree? Can you actually DO anything? Can you plumb? Can you wire a socket without electrocuting yourself? Yeah...you have no real skills. So let's pay tribute to those who have actual marketable skills - the blue collar workers.

PBR should not be the cool 'retro' beer. Hell No! It's the beer of hard working Americans. It ain't drunk in a tight-pants-wearing-Hipster-Bar. It always has been and always will be the beer of hard working blue collar Blue-Blood US Americans. You have no skills. Let's salute those who do.

Meet for the true American Meal - the Hot Dog. Franks (4th and Colorado) at 630. Ride leaves at 730. We will hit Deep Eddy's Cabaret, Doc's Motor Works and the Luster Pearle. Show up with a name on your shirt.

THE MAP

WAR XXX - Are you ready for some football?

Two things to celebrate this week. One, the WAR turns the big 3-0. Unfortunately, I can say I know how that feels. Even more unfortunately, I've still got a few on the WAR.

Next and more importantly, it is finally Football Season. Seriously, are the summers getting longer and with fewer sports worth watching? Football Season, I've missed you.

Big year for the boys in Burnt Orange. We have a lot to prove. #2 Ranking out of the gate. We're #1 - we'll prove it. Another #2 ranking for Colt as a Heisman contender. The only thing second place about Colt is the #2 he is going to take on Tim Tebow's face. 2 is also Tim's IQ - just ask Jesus.

So, the 2nd Annual WAR Football Kick Off is ON. Wear your Burnt Orange and welcome in the season.

Meet - Wed 8/26 - 6:15p at Posse East for some beer and burgers college style. Ride departs at 7:15pm - sharp! We will welcome in the season with a loop around DKR Memorial Stadium.

Then we will move over to Creekside owner Kasey's new venture - the Iron Gate. Kasey has promised a drink special for all WAR riders. Be careful of his 'specials'. I once did a shot of Crawfish Boil and Vodka with him. Just like last year, we are going to relive the 4th Quarter of the 2005 National Championship. Then we will mosey over to the legendary Scholz Beer Garten and finish up at The Crown & Anchor.

Bring a light, lock and a friend. Wear orange and get your Horns up. It's time to Hook 'Em.

THE MAP

The WAR is Famous

Well, I am not entirely sure quite how, but the WAR is now receiving national attention. I mean, if you want to count 'New York' as national. Personally, anything north of the Red River counts as another country in my book.

However, we did get written up in New York Magazine.

Seriously - New York Magazine.

I wasn't expecting press and certainly not from an actual respected publication. I mean maybe Beer Guzzlers Quarterly, Guns & Ammo or Juggs - but New York Magazine?

So here is the official invitation. If any of you New York yanks want to come ride and drink beer with us, we'd love to have you.

Hell, just to show our Texas hospitality - first one is on me.

WAR XXIX - Two Words

Okay, WAR 29. That is a lot of planning. While this might not be my most creative idea to date, it is an idea.

Most of our recent rides have been in or around downtown, so we are going to move up to Central Austin this ride. And, the theme of the ride is....drumroll....two words. Yep, everywhere we are going is named with no more, or fewer than two words. Now before you start with me, smart ass, 'the' is not a word, it's an article. Saying 'the' is a word is like saying Texas A&M is an accredited university. While it might exist in a similar plane, it ain't the real thing.

So, let's meet at Santa Rita (see? two words) for some Mexican grub at 6pm. 1206 W 38th St.

We ride at 7pm sharp!

We will hit Spider House, Flying Saucer and Draught House.

Bring lights, a lock and a friend. Don't forget to wear your brain bucket.

...oh, if you don't like the idea, let me know. I have two very special words for you....

THE MAP

WAR XXVIII - Ghost Town

Just a few more weeks before your daily commute turns sour. Yep, although UT football returns soon, so do the students, school and traffic.

40,000 co-eds are about to descend on Austin like so many hipsters during SWSX. They'll stand in line ahead of you and steal that last cold Lone Star. They'll crowd the doorway of the bars insisting that it is their ID and it just got run through the washer like nine times.

Yep, let's face it - the cheap watering holes are only ours for a few more weeks. So, let's take advantage of the current 'College Bar Ghost Town' and find the cheap brews while we can.

Meet at Posse East (2900 Duval) at 6pm or so for a burger and a cold one. Ride will depart at 7:15 sharp. We'll hit The Library ($1 beer night!), Cuatro's and end up next door to where we started, at the Crown & Anchor. If you don't know where the C&A is, you probably did not know me in the late 90's.

Bring a bike, lock, lights, helmet and a friend.

The Map

WAR = Copyright Infringement?

Okay - last week WAR really hit the big time. You won't believe it, but I actually got a letter informing me that the Wednesday Urban Assault Ride was infringing on a copyright.

So, cut back on those Wednesday night beers, because we are starting a fund to hire Johnnie Cochran. "If the bike don't fit, you must acquit!"

Here is the letter I received:

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How’s it going? I was just checking out your site. Thanks a lot for promoting our event and coming out to participate!

I need to ask you a favor. For 7 years and over 30 events we’ve produced the Urban Assault Ride and established a name for the event. We trademarked the name and have worked hard to create an understanding of our concept.

I see that you’re running a site called the “Wednesday Urban Assault Ride”. As much as I really like what you’re doing, I have to ask you to not call it the Urban Assault Ride. Not only could it be confusing to potential UAR riders, but there’s also the potential for bigger issues. If a rider were to get hurt or worse on one of your rides and it was publicized, the public would see that there was an accident on an Urban Assault Ride in Austin. You can imagine how this could effect our event, sponsorship. Insurance, etc.

I have no problem with you call your ride the WAR – Wednesday Assault Ride, but the Wednesday Urban Assault Ride is just too close.

I hope you understand and that you’ll make the necessary changes to correct the issue.

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So, our ride is now officially just the Wednesday Assault Ride. But, we keep our fancy acronym, WAR.

I'm poking a bit of fun at the letter we received, but understand the point. Plus, what is the point of fighting someone who support bikes and beer anyway? Although we do have a lawyer that regularly attends the ride, he usually ends up drunk at the end like the rest of us, and probably couldn't provide that much assistance.

But, that said, consider the towable music box with ground effects patented!