WAR XIII - The Great White North

The WAR Ride makes it's 13th appearance this week in the great white north.

Put on your tooks,  grab your mounties and head up north of town this week!  It is time to visit our cousins to the north, eh?  This week we will officially surrender to the cold by honoring 'America's Attic' with a Northen Austin tour.

Oh...Canada.  You have the biggest case of penis envy ever.  You are just so cute travelling abroad with your maple flag backpacks and your Palin-inspired drawl.  Oh...Canada...you've given us the good (Neil Young, Cowboy Junkies) the bad (Bryan Adams, Celine Dion) and the ugly (Cory Hart and Cory Haim - both Corys? really Canada??)  But, Canada, you have really enjoyed the past eight years, haven't you?  Looking down your nose when we made international fools of ourselves...loving it when us USAmericans claimed to be from Toronto when travelling abroad.  But, Canada...oh, Canada...your Prime Minister just dismantled Parliament when impeachment was threatened.  Oh Canada...it's aboot time you feel our pain.  We salute you, eh?

From an actual web-site debunking 'Top 10 Myths about (aboot) Canada':

#1 (Yes...NUMBER ONE)  -  Myth: We live in igloos. Reality: We live in houses, and they are very well built houses.

Oh Canada....that is awesome!

We will hit a few of Austin's finer Roadhouse establishments, including Lala's (where it's always Christmas), the Poodle Dog (where it's always toothless), Ginny's and Billy's.  Hell, just call it the Canadian Roadhouse Tour (no Swayze isn't Candadian, but Cory Hart was in Roadhouse 2).

Meet: Billy's   2105 Hancock Dr  (Burnet and Hancock)

Time: Meet for dinner at 6pm, ride starts at 7pm

Bring: Lights, locks, warmth, and a friend

THE MAP

Jingle Bell Ride

Pull up your stockings and grab your Ho's, because we are joining this year's annual Jingle Bell ride.

For one night, the Trail of Tears...errr...Lights is open to cyclists.  So, skip the parking hassle and crowds this year and join us.

The ride starts at 6pm at the baseball fields at Zilker (back entrance to Bartron Springs).  Meet up early at Uncle Billy's BBQ on Barton Springs road for Happy Hour - 5pm.  The Jingle Bell Ride has a long and short version.  The official WAR ride will be, of course, doing the long ride (about 8 miles).  This is a great ride to bring the family and kids on as well.  There should be several hundred riders - lots of little ones.

The ride hits the Trail of Lights, followed by a Hot Chocolate and Cookie stop at the Mopac Bridge.  Santa's little elves will ride back via the hike and bike, while the Reindeer will take a tour of Austin Neighborhoods that have been lit up like a Damn Christmas Tree.

Sadly, whoever planned the route forgot to include beer stops.   So, this ride is B.Y.O.H.C (Bring Your Own Holiday Cheer).  Nog it up, dude!  I'll be towing the tunes box with my collection of obnoxious christmas songs (who wants a Hippopotamus for Xmas?).

Ride details: http://bicyclesportshop.com/page.cfm?pageId=1331

The Map:  http://www.thebikechick.com/BSS/Jingle_Bell_Ride_08.pdf

WAR XII - Ice House

WAR XII - This week the WAR Ride will officially welcome in the fall chill by honoring the blue collar bar - the ice house.  (Get it?  Fall chill...ice house?  I'm a f'ing genius)

The Ice House is typically a low-key, largely outdoor bar frequented by guys with names on their shirts.  Horseshoes might be thrown, ice cold beer will certainly be consumed, and the 'pub grub' ususally ranges from hot dogs to...well, hot dogs.  Sounds like a nice place for a bike ride.  

We will meet for an optional dinner at Wahoo's (6th and Rio Grande) at 6:30.  The ride will officially depart at 7:15.  We will visit The Scoot Inn, The Jackalope and Dirty Bill's.  I know, technically these aren't all true Ice Houses, but until Kasey gets off his ass and builds me one, it is the best I can do.  There is also a short film festival playing at nearby Republic Square, we might ride by and check out a movie or two.  http://www.austinfilm.org/film/afs_movies_in_the_park_austin_shorts

The Details:

Wed 11/19

Optional dinner: Wahoo's, 6:30p

Wheels Down: 7:15p

Return: 10p

Make sure to bring bike lights.  Wear a shirt with your name on it.  Bring a light jacket.

See you there.  Bring a friend.

THE MAP

WAR - XI - Politics

It is time to meet up for W.A.R. XI - The Political Ride.

Can we drink beer and ride bikes, yes we can!

Meet up this week to discuss politics, the presidency and the general state of the union.  Regardless of your political leanings, everyone can agree that beer tastes good.  So, in the spirit of democracy, this weeks ride visits some of Austin's finer 'political bars'.  

The ride starts 11/5,  7pm at Scholtz's Beer Garden and finishes by the Capitol at the Cloak Room.

See you there!

Thanks to Juanpablo and Teresa for leading this ride.

Update: A new discovery was made on the ride, check it out:http://www.austinsambaschool.org/

WAR X - Biketoberfest

Damn.  Them are some big beers.

It's that time of year, kids.  Lace up your liderhosen, hide your Schnitzel and come out for a bike ride.  

This week we will celebrate the great German tradition of drinking copious amounts of beer.   Why?  Because beer is good, dammit.  

Last year's Oktoberfest in the motherland saw 14,793,000 pints consumed.  Some might say that is alot of beer.  I might say we have beat those dirty Germans once, and by god let's do it again.

The ride - Wednesday - 10/22

Meet: Flying Saucer - 815 W 47th St  (The Triangle)

Time:  Depart 7:30 (feed yourself or eat with the family at the Flying Saucer before the ride)  Be preped to pedal at 7:30 SHARP!

Return: Same spot, 10pm

Bring: Bike lights, friends

Attire: German casual.  Liderhosen if you got 'em.  Women are encouraged to look like the above picture.

In the words of Gretl von Trap: 'the sun has gone to bed and so must I....goodnight...goodnight....goodnight!'

THE MAP

Weekend Warriors

The long wait is over, and this weekend New Belgium's 'Tour de Fat' is scheduled to return to our fair city.  This event celebrates two of the greatest things in the world - beer and bikes.  Our plan is to meet down at Festival Gardens at 9am.  No fair driving your car.  I'm sure we will schedule a breakfast beforehand, so check back or give me a call.

This is a family friendly event as well.  The bike parade departs at 10am, but you need to get there early to register.  

Ride returns to Festival Gardens at 11am, where the kegs are tapped, and there are multiple live shows - music, juggling, puppet and otherwise.  If you believe in the over-used phrase 'Keep Austin Weird' - this is the event.

Costumes are HIGHLY ENCOURAGED.  I'm thinking we go with 'Cowboys and Indians'.

The Number One Texas Longhorns have graciously schedule their home game around this event - they play at 7pm.  So, no excuses.  Also, if you have extra tickets - I'm your buddy, right?

Here is the full lineup - http://www.tour-de-fat.com/city/austin

WAR IX - Nine Times....

Nine times?? 

Nine times......

Nine times......the WAR continues.

I have an unfortunate business obligation and sadly won't be able to make this ride, so I'm passing over the reigns to Eric "Dr. Feelgood" Crowder.  If you need medicial attention, or someone to buy a beer for, he's your man.

The ride this week will start and end at Little Woodrow's on 6th Street.  The weather is perfect for bike riding and outdoor beer drinking, so I guess this location is actually more than perfect.

If you have been absent from one or more rides (if your name ain't Mat or Charlie - I'm talking to you), you have missed some good times.  We've seen Bruce Robison perfom, called 911, had the Capitol Police aid in bicycle repair, seen Vince Young, hauled a dog, introduced tunes, and had a goodly number of beers along the way.  So if you have not been in a while, or not at all get off your ass and join us.  In the immortal words of Ferris Buller, "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

WAR IX

Start/End - Little Woodrows - 6th St.

7pm start

Be there - bring a friend.

THE MAP

WAR VIII - Honky Tonk Heroes Like Me

We made it through the blistering summer heat to the official start of Fall.  No, not the equinox, dumbass - ACL.  Prepare yourself for thousands of hipsters, hippies, and weekend vegans to decend upon our town to tromp down the grass at Zilker Park.  Well, at least we get some excellent music.

So, this week we are going to break from the ACL Indie Scene by going back to Texas music roots - the Honky Tonk.  You don't need a giant flag, a pesant shirt and a 'crotch stash' to enjoy Texas music.  All you need is a cold Lone Star on a picnic table and quarter for the jukebox.  We will ride out Wednesday a visit a few of Austin's saloons, where we will be able sip a cold one while sitting on an old oak bench.  Places where PBR isn't considered 'retro'.

We are going to try something new this ride and not schedule dinner.  Hopefully we will finish at a more reasonable hour.  So, please feed youself before the ride.  We are starting this week at Shoal Creek Saloon, so I suspect a few folks will meet up early and eat there - I know I will.

The Ride - Wed, 9/24

-  Depart Shoal Creek Saloon, 7:15pm - sharp!

-  Ride is approx 9.5mi

-  Planned stops: Shoal Creek Saloon, Uncle Billy's Brew's & BBQ, Mean Eyed Cat

-  Please wear a helmet and bring a light

-  Suggested attire - Pearl Snap Shirt

Remember - no planned dinner on the ride.  Eat first or go hungry.  Or, be social and come eat with the family at Shoal Creek about 6:30.

If you want to add another 10mi or so, I'll be departing my house at 6pm.

The Map

Nightime is coming eariler and the vampires are out.  Please come to the next ride lit up like a damn Christmas tree.  Garlic is optional.  Johnny Law requires a red tail light and a white front light.  I hate to side with The Man, but he's right on this one.  You don't have to spend a lot, just grab something like this: Come on baby light my fire.

WAR VII - Margaritas

Ride Time: Wed, 9/10, 7:15pm

On September 16, 1810, Manuel Hildalgo rang the bells of his town church calling everyone to fight for Mexico's independence from Spain.  10 years (or one long Spanish siesta) later, Mexico stood alone.

We USAmericans celebrate our independence by blowing shit up.  However, the Mexicans have a much more refined celebration tool - Tequila!

So, this week's W.A.R. will celebrate diez y seis (a bit early) with a salute to the Margarita!  We will take off on our bikes and declare our very own independence from work and cars in search of a few of Austin's finer Margaritas!

Planned stops are Trudy's, Opal Divines and the first East Side location on the W.A.R. - El Chile!
As usual, our ride will likely include a few additional locations central to the theme.  

The Plan: Ride starts at Crown & Anchor.  We roll at 7:15pm SHARP!  If you want a pre-ride Dos Equis, chug and pay up by wheels down.
Ride ends at Trudy's Texas Star at 9:30-10:00pm.  Distance: 8-10miles.  Please wear a helmet and bring a rear bike light.

Special attire for this ride:  Guyaberas!

 

If you want a bit longer ride, I'll be departing from my (new) house - 5612 Shoalwood by 6:30pm and getting in 10+ additional miles.  I'll be towing the tunes, so it won't be fast!

The Map.  See you there, bring a friend.  Via con Dios!

 

Also, this new Blog allows you to post comments, so if you have suggestions etc, post them!

More rides to plan for!

If you are marking events on your calender, make sure to add these two events:

1) The 26th Annual Harvest Moon Cruize - Sept 14 - Lamar Ped Bridge - 2am

This happens once a year. I caught it last year (by accident). This is as 'Austin' as you get, folks. There will be 400-500 riders leaving the Lamar Ped Bridge at 2am and going on a leisurely ride around Austin. There are frequent stops where everyone parties and dances. People haul beer, kegs, coolers, sound systems and everything else you can imagine. It's really quite amazing. Ride usually finishes somewhere downtown about 5am. I stumbled upon this ride last year (quite literally) and it was really amazing. Try to plan on it. Note - that day is a Sunday - ride starts at 2am (you can also look at this as really late Sat night). I know it's late, but it is worth it.
http://www.atxbs.com/?q=node/336

2) Tour de Fat - Oct 18 - Festival Gardens 9am-4pm

Crowder and I went last fall and this was eaisly the coolest thing I did last year This event is sponsored by the New Belgian Brewery (Fat Tire) and is a very weird blend of a bike parade/carnival/revival. The brewery brings all sorts of bizarre bikes. Beer, live music, and a short, very fun bike ride. Strange costumes are highly encouraged. This is a good event to bring the family as well. Seriously - don't miss this one.
http://www.tour-de-fat.com/city/austin

This event is really hard to describe - youtube is worth 1,000 words - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pChGFDlwSXo




If you are looking for more bike stuff to do in town, check out this blog and subscribe to his mailing list. www.atxbs.com (Austin Bike S*it)

-mat

WAR VI - Are you ready for some football?

The Wednesday urban Assault Ride makes it's 6th appearance this week in a salute to Football Season.

Damn, it's been a hot summer. But the sweltering heat of August welcomes this week's hero, Football Season! If you are like me (and you probably wish you are), you've had it with baseball, golf and synchronized diving. It is time for some good 'ol US American football. The Longhorns debut this week against the Florida Atlantic University Burrowing Owls. The Owls are apparently one of the finest High School Teams in the state of Florida. Should be an interesting year for the Horns with a lot of new talent. So, let's welcome in Football Season with a bike ride. We will meet at the Alumni Center and do a 'Texas Football Tour' with a loop around the stadium, and a tour of some classic Longhorn sports bars, including Scholtz's, The Tavern, and local legend - Creekside.

As an added bonus, Wednesday is LBJ's 100th birthday. The LBJ library will hold a birthday bash with FREE Rudy's BBQ and Amy's Ice Cream. The event will be held at the LBJ Library from 6-8pm. Parking might be tight, so get there early or ride in. Thanks to Charlie for the idea! There will be no scheduled 'Long Ride' this week, so you'll have an opportunity to honor LBJ by eating free food. As an added bonus, the Clock Tower will be lit up with '100' all night, hopefully to honor LBJ's birthday and not the estimated number of Colt McCoy interceptions this year. The LBJ event is not 'on the ride', if you want to attend, go beforehand. It's going to be too crowded to try and meet up, so you are on your own.
http://www.lbj100.org/


The Ride:

Start/End: The Alumni Center, across from the Stadium on San Jacinto
Time: Ride leaves at 7:15pm SHARP, return approx 10p
Distance: 8-10miles
Difficulty: Easy
Bring: Helmet, bike lights (front and rear), lock, beer money
Attire: All riders are strongly encouraged to wear some Longhorn gear

The Map

WAR V - Back to School

The Wednesday urban Assault Ride continues for part V - Back To School!

Well, it is time for all of the kids to go back to school. Check that - it's time for YOUR kids to go back to school. Yeah, that's right - we're old. But riding into West Campus last ride brought back memories of what school really is about - keg stands, frat parties, beer bongs, and the god-given right to have a couch on your front porch without shame! We might be getting older, but we ain't done - and this Wednesday, get prepared to go Back To School!

Our ride will take us to a few old haunts, and I can pretty much promise we'll ride by somewhere you: A) lived B) threw up C) both. Plan on meeting at Posse East. Wheels down at 7pm sharp - no waiting. If you want a pre-ride beer, hey man, that's up to you. My mom is sending me a check, so if it gets here in time, I'll join you. Ride will start at the Posse East and end at the Crown (optional finishing beer), so park there. This will be a fairly tame ride, so bring a friend. We should finish up about 9:30pm.

If you are up for more of a challenge, meet at my house. Wheels down at 6:30pm SHARP - no waiting! We will have a brisk ride to the Posse East to get a few more miles in.

The Groups:

Seniors - Meet at Mat's House (808 Ethel 78704) - ride at 6:30p - 18miles total
Freshmen - Meet at Posse East (if you have to look it up, you aren't invited) - ride at 7pm - 7.5mi total

Bring: Bike, rear blinky light, helmet, beer money


See you at orientation

The Map

WAR - IV - Vive le Tour!

Nothing says ‘teamwork’ like lighting your buddy’s cig while riding in the Alps.

Congratulations to Carlos Sastre, this year’s winner of the Maillot Jaune – the Yellow Jersey. He either out-rode or out-doped the rest of the field up Alpe d’Huez to take an insurmountable lead. The Tour is cycling’s premiere event, but has been plagued with scandal for the past, well 80 years or so. No matter, drugs or no drugs these guys are amazing athletes and ride a blistering 2,200 miles in 23 days. Depending on whom you believe, Floyd Landis rode it with either a belly full of Jack Daniels or a Testosterone patch on his junk. Either way is manly in my book.

So, this week’s Wednesday urban Assault Ride (WAR) will feature a Texan’s salute to the tour. We will ride down Austin’s Champs Elysees and I promise we will see the Eiffel Tower. A few stops are planned at some of Austin’s finer ‘European’ watering holes. Bring your bike and all the EPO you can eat. The post-ride drug test location will be the rear wheel of Crowder’s new bike.

Meeting Points:

The Breakaway Group – 6:30pm – Mat’s House – 808 Ethel (Est. 18-20mi total)

The Peleton – 7:10pm – Mellow Johnny’s Bike Shop. http://www.mellowjohnnys.com/ (Est. 8-10mi total)

Mellow Johnny is a Texan version of the French ‘Maillot Jaune’

They have good Espresso if you get there early!

Return time will be about 9:30pm

Required: Bike (most any kind will do), helmet, bike light (rear at least), beer money

Recommended: Lock, bell

Special Equipment: None

The Map

WAR III - Rooftops

W.A.R. Part III – Sniper Fire!

Ok. This time, I promise no insane hills. Seriously. I promise.

The Wednesday Assault Ride will make it’s third appearance on 7/16. This week, prepare for a tour around the city with a theme of “Up on the Roof” (insert The Drifters into the background). We will have a nice ride, with a few visits to some lovely Austin Rooftop bars where we will drink beer and look down our nose at those dirty car drivers. (Thumbing your nose is optional) The ride will finish with a view of the (almost) full moon from an undisclosed secret rooftop top location.

Meeting points:

Manly Men – Mat’s House – Wheels Down @ 6:30pm (Est. Distance 15-18mi)

Girly Men – S.R.V. Statue on Town Lake @ 7:00pm (Est. Distance 10-12mi) – Park at Threadgills, RunTex, Etc.

Return time will be about 9:30pm

Required: Bike (most any kind will do), helmet, Rear Light, beer money

Recommended: Lock, bell

Special Equipment: None

The Map

WAR II - Swimmin' Holes

Ladies and Gents and Sean,

The 2^nd Bi-Monthly Wednesday Assault Ride (WAR) is on! Most of you missed the inaugural WAR ride, but it did end with a message on my work voicemail that said ‘my ass hurts and it is all your fault’. That was fun to explain to the secretary.

Every other Wednesday there will be an Urban Assault on Austin via bicycle, We will have different routes each week, and explore the city on two wheels. Often times, we get thirsty, so there are planned pit stops. Basically, we are talking a pub crawl in spandex.

This week’s ride will focus on officially surrendering to the heat. Don’t worry about watering your dead lawn or slathering even more sunscreen on the kids. Just get on your bike and ride. This is a ‘no-drop’ ride, meaning we go as fast as slowest rider, so everyone can come along. Routes are in the 12mile range – not hard.

Required: Bike (most any kind will do), helmet, beer money or credit card

Recommended: Bike light, lock, bell

Special gear required this week: Hawaiian shirt, $10 cash and clothes you can get wet / swim suit (tiny bikini for the ladiezzz)

Time: Wed, July 2 Wheels down at 6:30p (we LEAVE at 6:30)

Where: Mat’s house – 808 Ethel

I’m guessing we will finish at around 9-930p, depending on pit stops. You can always bail out early.

Pedal on……

The Map

WAR I - The Beginning

Here is where it all started.

The Map